The Tamarisk Tree

We've Moved. You should find us.

2008-01-03T09:42:00.000-06:00

So, people. We decided to move over to Wordpress. I know. I know. You'll need to update your favorites. You'll need to relink to us on your own blog. You'll never find us over there. Well have no fear.

Just click right here and you'll get there.

It will be awesome and hopefully you'll like the new look.

Happy New Year!

Jud & Kim

For the Books

2007-12-13T13:54:00.000-06:00

I don't usually write letters to the baby, but lately I've been wanting to talk to 18 year old Gideon (the one who I am going to have a hard time letting go of, but of whom I will be so incredibly proud). I thought I might tell him something like this....

This is your seventh month of life and I think you are becoming the kind of person I want to be around all the time. Before November you were all baby - stationary and cute, loving but easily tired to tears, fickle in all the ways that babies can be. Then one day all of those rocking motions came together and suddenly you were on the go. You haven't looked back since and you are no longer just a baby. You are Gideon, explorer, conqueror, the strong warrior we hoped for, proudly crawling under things and into tiny spaces where you frequently get wedged.

A lot of other babies learn how to sit first and I am not surprised that you still don't really sit. Instead you lean on your side, ala biblical characters reclining at a table, or you try to stay up while sitting back on your knees, just in case you need to make a beeline for a light socket or a speaker wire. You're eyes are always scanning for the next adventure and even when your big baby head makes your fall backwards and smack your noggin on the floor, just watching the dogs run or the door stopper boing-ing can stop your pain.

I'm on guard now all the time, trying to insure that you don't get huge bruises or a concussion - mostly for fear of having to explain what happened to a pediatrician or worse, the emergency room doc where I'm sure I'll be turned in to CPS for negligence over not allowing you to get shots or an antibiotic. Speaking of which, I was watching some show on Discovery while you were napping and they had this crazy mom on who was using the tv as a babysitter. It was some sort of intervention that didn't work, but at the end of the show she gets together in this coffee group with other moms and dads and one of the moms asks them all about their doctors because she doesn't want to take her kid to an antibiotic pushing person who isn't able to say "it's a cold. Go home." The tv mom was all "oh, just trust what the doctors say and don't worry about the outcome. They are smarter than us. They went to med school. They know. We should just listen and obey." It made me feel even more sad for her poor television zapped children. But it also explained a lot. This woman is just the kind of person who thinks that universal health care is a good thing. She's the kind of woman who thinks that the government should provide things for us and tell us what to do because they know. They went to Washington. They must be smarter than us. We should just listen and obey and pay some more taxes and sit back while the federal government bans people from really succeeding financially by redistributing wealth over a certain amount. This is the kind of person that you will be encountering when you are being educated outside of our home because these, unfortunately, are the kind of people who are the product of our humanistic, post-post-modern world. I am sorry that there are so many of them, baby. I just hope you don't become one of them when you are in college. So, don't hit your head too hard or Mama might get hauled off somewhere for not obeying the CDC.

Anyway, seven month old Gideon is a blast. You just started a funny new laugh that sounds like one that I do sometimes - like air being pushed out of your nose while you smile. You don't have any teeth yet, so that smile is all gums and incredibly delicious.

Tonight you found the little mole that is on your left knee and tried to pick it off your leg. When that didn't work you just tried to eat your entire knee. It didn't work very well, though I'm sure you were less successful because this was all going on in the bathtub which was very slick and added a higher degree of difficulty for that kind of contortionism.

I don't know what you'll discover tomorrow, but I'm looking forward to the sun rising just as much as you are.

Reprinted from The New York Times

2007-12-11T09:35:00.000-06:00

[In honor of our not very crippling snow storm over which there was entirely too much hype (sorry Oklahoma, you bore the full brunt of this thing) we bring you an essay by one of our favs. We heart him. You might too.]

Snow Daze

By DEMETRI MARTIN
Published: January 1, 2006

Not too long ago it snowed in New York City. Here's what I remember.

Morning. I wake up early, throw on some layers. I head out to get supplies for sledding. First stop: Union Square. I go into a store and manage to grab the last sled in stock - strong start. It's a round tube. This is good. (Tube = ideal for jumping, because of padding.) Next stop: Toys "R" Us. I cross the square, leaving tracks. The snow in the city is white, for now. My face is cold. The city is quiet. I feel great.

Cellphone to ear, I make two calls. I get two voice mailboxes. I leave two messages: "Hey. It's Demetri. We're going sledding. Central Park. Call me, and I'll give you the details." Toys "R" Us is already out of sleds. (Probably swiped by some kids. Typical. They don't have jobs, which gives them the advantage here.) The store still has pool floats, though. Perfect. I buy the last two Millennium Falcon pool floats and throw them into my backpack.

Back to the subway, heading north to snow country, a k a Central Park. First order of business: configure hat and headphones to provide the optimum combination of warmth and acoustics. This takes some time, because I have those headphones that go directly into the ears. And often, putting them on with a hat means stabbing myself in the ears. A little finessing. . .done.

On the train, I get down to business and start to inflate the tube. This is the same as starting to almost faint. I stop and give a nod to some nearby passengers (in order to take my vibe down from "crazy" to "just excited about sledding"). Inflation resumes.

Out of the train and into Central Park. More fresh snow. More phone calls. I make about a dozen, actually. And I get a dozen voice-mail greetings. Losers.

I walk deeper into the park and find a hill near 79th Street. It's already crowded with families. Families and me. At first, my inner child sledder takes over. I scurry up the hill, wait in line and then cut in front of a couple of kids who seem to lack the passion I have for going next. But then, after a few runs and failed attempts at small talk, I realize something: I am a creep. (Note: Most parents don't take kindly to lone, bearded sledsmen who try to talk shop with their kids - especially on the Upper West Side.) I decide it's time to move on. Losers.

At 72nd Street, on the East Side, I find a pretty good hill. It's wide. I do a few runs. Still no calls back. My friends are lame. I never realized how much better sledding is with human interaction. In that sense it's like the opposite of using a bathroom. After learning my lesson at hill No. 1, I steer away from conversations. No chatter, just pure hill riding. (Note: This is even creepier than before - now I'm the antisocial grown-up solo-sledder guy.) Whatever. Time to move again.

Heading back west, I get two calls back. On the phone I emphasize that I have Millennium Falcon pool floats. Two friends are on their way up. Excellent.

Five minutes later, I come to the Bethesda Fountain, where I find a crowd of people watching one man ride his large tube down the stairs. He is the star of this makeshift slope - at least until now. When I arrive, he looks up at me and my tube and says simply, "This is awesome." I agree. We both run to the top of the stairs.

A flat landing in the middle of stairs provides a jump of sorts. The possibilities excite me. He goes first and almost gets air. Now I go. And I most definitely get air. When I get to the bottom: applause. These people are clapping. They get me. My new best friend and I grab our tubes for another run. At the top of the hill a kid says to me, "You got air." I say, "I know." (Subtext: "No, you can't try my pool float.") This time I decide that I need a running start. I make the people behind me move to create a clearing. I also decide to go headfirst.

The crowd parts. Music: check. Goggles: check. Attitude: check, check. I dive onto the stairs. Immediately, I realize that I've made a grave miscalculation. In an instant I am airborne. But this kind of air doesn't feel good. My legs rotate upward. My face downward. The tube deserts me. Uh, oh.

In the various experiences of my life up to then, I had never actually landed on my face. It wasn't even on my radar of things to watch out for. I remember hearing a cracking noise and the music in my ears suddenly stopping. It was as if I knocked over a D.J. booth with my face - if the booth were made of ice. A moment later I was prostrate on the stairs. My hat was somewhere near the Great Lawn. My goggles were cracked. A lady retrieved my headphones. Also broken. Two people helped me to my feet. One thing life has taught me is that when strangers help you, something is definitely wrong. One man said, "You should be careful." I wasn't sure if I had broken my face or what. I walked away, still reeling, numb and kind of scared.

When my friends finally arrived, I told them about my near-seriously-hurt experience. The red marks on the right side of my face corroborated my story. I gave them the spaceships and just sat for a while, happy that my neck managed not to break and psyched that I got air. Man, I love snow days.

Demetri Martin is a writer and a comedian.

In Pictures

2007-12-10T09:21:00.000-06:00

Note Quite Moses

The Face of Sickness circa two weeks ago.
I look terrible. He still looks pretty cute.

The ugly face of feeding a baby food he does not want to eat.

Severe cuteness with banana lips.

LOL Baby: Is can crawl cans U

Right Here in Middle America

2007-12-05T20:20:00.000-06:00

There's not a lot to say about things like this.

We are all safe here. We don't think we know anyone who was terrorized by this incredibly selfish, completely narcissistic imbecile. It's such a tragic, fatal wound to society that people care more about making their own name known than the good of other humans. It's why people drink and drive. It's why people leave their spouses and children to find themselves. It's why American Idol is such a phenomenon. It's why people cut each other off in traffic.

It's nothing new, I know. There's nothing new under the sun. It's just that this part of the earth seemed like it was sheltered from such a direct ray of light. You can pay lip service to knowing that's not true, but when the cell towers are jammed because everyone is trying to get a hold of each other and make sure they are okay, it's a wholly different kind of knowledge.

So hug your kids and kiss your baby and ask that the Lord won't wait much longer.

Please Pass the Rolls

2007-11-29T15:30:00.000-06:00

Last night, we were speaking hypothetically about Jud working for my dad and how cool it would be because they could really have a great time teaching and learning from each other and because they get along so well and then the conversation took an unexpected turn.

Jud: Yeah, that'd be fun...until he fires me.

Rick: Mmm. That would make Thanksgiving awkward.

Catastrophic Failure

2007-11-28T09:13:00.000-06:00

While trying to import some pictures I received the above error and thought about just walking away from all working today. Somehow all of my projects have deadlines within a week of each other and I am overwhelmed by it, the kind of overwhelmed that makes you want to throw in the towel and just walk away. It's almost too daunting to tackle. I'm sure it has more to do with my mindset than the actual tasks, oh and my crazy need for perfection.

Speaking of character traits that are wild and out of control, did you know that I can completely obsess over why someone does not want to be my friend. Yes, I am an eight year old. There is this whole story about how this person who runs in similar circles as me has been less than warm toward me and I can't really give you details about it because, frankly, some of you know said person and, as I neurotically mentioned, I am wanting to be this person's friend.

So, this week there was a whole heap load of strangeness where it was absolutely confirmed to me that they do not like me. They do not like me one bit. And I know this should not bother me. I know plenty of people who do not like me and their lack of friendship does not ruffle my feathers in the slightest. But here I am, stuck in a rut of trying to figure out what I've done to turn them sour.

Usually, if someone doesn't like me, I know why. It's typically pretty easy to figure out. Like this one girl one time told me that she'd been talking behind my back and she was sorry. I was shocked that she shared that with me, but not surprised that she'd been doing it. We were in high school and I'd stolen her boyfriend six months earlier and then dumped him after about a month because he was really needy and I didn't have time for all that mess. I think they'd been dating for like a year or something. I know. I know, but that's a legitimate reason not to like someone. Or there are the people with whom I do not want to be friends, for a host of reasons, like they are too crazy or too dirty or they talk about things I don't want to listen to or they are not very smart. See, these people don't like me because I don't want them to. I don't attempt to be their friend and I don't really put much stock in how they feel about me.

But here I am now. There is this person, let's call them Joey, who is so cold to me that I can feel the ice from half a city away and I do not know why. Maybe I am too crazy or too dirty or talk about things Joey doesn't want to hear, or maybe Joey thinks I am not smart enough. And all of these things are very possible. But I want to know which one it is. I want them to tell me why they would jump through fire to not have to be in my presence. I want them to say what is so offensive about my personality. I know that the knowledge would probably hurt. I know that it would be uncomfortable and that later, in the solitude of the shower or perhaps while lying in bed and recounting the story for Jud, I would probably burst into tears, but I have this deep longing to know The Why.

I'm sure I'll never know. Joey isn't the kind of person I can just walk up to and say "I know you don't like me, but I don't know why. Want to tell me?" I think Joey would be all "Wha? Who said I don't like you?" and then I'd have to be all "no one said it. I just know. So tell me." Then, quite possibly, Joey would feign shock and insist that there is nothing there. That the ice I feel is really a rainbow of love and purple unicorns of friendship and that I am so wrong about it all. But I know. I know that it is real. I just will have to get over not knowing why.

One, Beginning (a week of firsts)

2007-11-24T22:34:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is behind us and now we can all look forward to the next onslaught of holiday cheer. Before you rush off to the mall, you should take a minute to see what's going on out here in the blogosphere. It is so nice and warm and not so filled with Christmas music or people ringing guilt-laced bells.

In support of National Adoption Day, we went to the children's museum. It was a first for everyone but me and I think they all had a pretty good time.

Gideon officially crawled on Thanksgiving Day. It was way more awesome than the parade, but there were just as many running commentaries. The next month will be spent prying his tiny fingers off of things he should not touch. I look forward to it being exhausting and exhilarating in one long drawn out breath.

It snowed on Wednesday; lots of pretty flurries with a little dusting that hung around until Friday. I think it hindered a few of your trips to see family, but I trust that everyone got where they were going safe and sound. We were keeping warm inside and pointing outside to Gideon. He was much more interested in his teething toy.

This may have been the only time when the dogs have not huddled at the bottom of the grill while a giant bird was cooked inside of it. It was a bit brisk.

We were all glad that Poppy braved the wind to make us some deliciousness, though we are certain that his cold going from bad to near death has something to do with all of the time he spent ensuring the turkey would be tasty.

Gideon ate his very first vegetable on Thanksgiving. He didn't freak out or even, really spit out much of it. I'm going to try to upload the video of it so you can see what he did do. I'm sure you've been eagerly anticipating what our child does when feed peas....right?

It was the first time that all of these people gathered around the Thanksgiving table together. My brother and his wife, Jud sister, my parents, Jud, Gideon and our dear friends from Ohio/Colorado/we met them while we were all in Germany.

This was the first game that Gideon got to watch with Truman. Neither did much watching, but I hope they'll smile at these pictures together some day.

And the Last. The last time we'll wear these Husker outfits together (for which Gideon's shoulders will be happy. This onesie was starting to get a little too tight. Unfortunately Gideon isn't the only one who's glad we're not going to a bowl game. It at least made the decision to get rid of Callahan that much simpler. And we won't have to prepare ourselves to watch NU loose another game).

Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-22T09:33:00.000-06:00

I thought this video was too good to not post somewhere.

We hope you all are having a great holiday.

We Probably Should've Taken More of These

2007-11-17T19:38:00.001-06:00

Here are some pictures from our vacation:

Aunt Ronke came over for the party at Hunter's house.

Gideon checks with Hunter to make sure it's okay to eat the toy.

Hunter evaluates Gideon's technique.

Aunt Jenn performs The Worm.

The guys pose for a picture and allow their arms to extend around one another
(look for the next sign of the Apocalypse any day now).

And here is one from right after we got home.

Last night he did this and somehow got his arm stuck in between the crib slats. He was crying and crying (which we let him do when he's awake too soon). When Jud finally went in the poor kiddo was trapped. Oh, and snotty. Very snotty. The kind of snotty that eventually drains down the back of your throat and makes you puke so much milk onto your mom that she has to change ALL of her clothing at four in the morning. Or, what I like to call, fun.

I Should Really Just Stop Talking

2007-11-15T22:06:00.000-06:00

Tonight we had people over to our house and at the end of our time together I made this huge loud statement that was completely out of line and quite honestly just completely offensive. Why did I say it?

I'd like to say that I don't know why it was said. That it just slipped out. That it was totally out of character. That I've never said anything like that before. That it was some bizarre anomaly.

But all of that would be a total lie.

I said it because, like Nebuchadnezzar himself, I am and there is no other. I am so proud and so filled with self righteousness that evil things leak from my pores like the stench of filth from the sewer in front of the DoubleTree in downtown Omaha. My terrific pride - displayed for all to see.

I think those seven years of wandering around like an animal are going to be long. I hope that the twelve months of time to repent and do what is right, namely to honor God and take myself off of this high horse, aren't over yet. But if they have passed, I pray that it won't take seven years before I can acknowledge that the Most High is and there is no one beside Him.

It's Probably Not That Far Away

2007-11-15T15:17:00.001-06:00

We've had a strange week here and part of that is no doubt related to the vacation hangover and also the real life smack to the face that came full force on Monday. If I've spoken with you this week please take whatever I said and delete it. I shouldn't be held responsible for any of it. Or, obviously, I should be, but I'd prefer to never be reminded of it again.

In light of the surrealness of this week I've been doing odd things...not cleaning very much, attempting to nap once or twice and failing miserably, watching parts of sappy Christmas movies while I work. Pretty embarassed about that last one. Seems like something a lazy stay at home mom would do, right?

I may have wanted to watch it because last night while driving home from a meeting, I was flipping channels and ran across Christmas music. I was simultaneously repulsed and excited. It's the kid's first one and it's also a lot of work. In a normal year, with normal expectations I think Christmas is tons of work with little pay off. Having a kid means someone gets much more excited about the lights and the presents and the egg nog (yeah, the last one is me [only because Jud is always excited about egg nog, well a very specific kind of egg nog, actually]). This year the toy hunt is much more difficult because of China.

And the lead.

And without further ado, I give you: A Place to Look For Toys that Will Not Kill or Dumb Down Your Children.

Happy shopping.

The Cool Kids Call it Vacay. I Call it Last Week.

2007-11-13T16:14:00.000-06:00

We did it. We drove in a car with a six month old. We drove for 10 consecutive hours with him. When we decided to do it, we realized that we are either much more brave or much less intelligent than we thought.

As it turned out, he did better than we could have ever expected. He rolled with the sleep deprivation and the bizarre schedule and the idea that he would have to sit strapped into one place for an entire day, without much complaining at all. There were no long screaming sessions. There was not a melt down on the last day. He didn't mind meeting all the new people or sleeping in all the new places. He just did it. And he may have even loved it.

In the aftermath, namely the piles of clothing that need to be washed (in the beginning we are careful not to let the dirty ones touch the clean ones and there are clear divisions of filth, but by the end they are all in a horrendous pile inside the black bag and then everything must be laundered), the bags that need to be placed back into their proper places and the toys that need disinfecting, he's done better than us. I cannot shake my exhaustion and Jud's job is slowly sucking out the will to live, but in a very smiley cultish way.

There are lots of things to be done around here this week, so napping has not been possible, at least not for those of us who are allowed to stay awake for more than two hours at a time.

Also, for some reason we didn't take very many pictures (some of our friends did and hopefully those friends will email us said photos). I'm pretty sure the reason was that we were having such a good time. We really loved seeing everyone but we also remembered why we left:

(traffic+crime+slutty billboards)awakening of yearnings to have lots of money and things = hate

In so many ways we loved our lives in Texas but it was good to remember that those days are behind us and that the life we now live (in the body, we live by faith in the Son of God, who loved us and gave Himself up for us) in Omaha is exactly where we want to be. We can't wait for our Texas friends to come and visit us now! See you soon, friends.

Hallowhat

2007-11-01T22:03:00.000-05:00

So yesterday, if you have the childrens, you probably got all dressed up and collected candy from people you know, or, if you are into the old school, there-could-be-razors-in-this-but-i-can't-stop-myself-from-butterfinger-so-what-does-it-even-matter mentality, from complete strangers. We didn't do that. The dress the kid up part.

I know. I know. Our church has a carnival thingy and everybody goes and their kids are absolutely adorable and all of that. But our kid goes to bed about the same time as that carnival and mommy is cheap and (I was going to write uncreative, which isn't totally true) bad with turning creative thoughts into reality (see: blogosphere world makes her happy. do not attempt to talk to the mommy while she is typing for the series of tubes. she cranky then).

Instead of all that, we put our muchkin to bed and passed out candy. Well, Jud passed out the candy. I sat on the sofa and alerted him to when children were getting dangerously near the doorbell. My kid might be forced into being a sound sleeper, but nobody can sleep through repetitive doorbell ding dongs. That's umpossible! I attempted to write great-grandparents notes on the back of pictures of baby so that I can be crowned a slightly less slacking mother.

I'm sure of the slacking, by the way. I'm not fishing (or I suppose now it is perhaps phishing?) for compliments to the contrary.

-In Example-

Friend: Where are you taking Gideon for his three month pictures?
Me: (Knowing he is now four months old) Hmm?
Friend: Are you getting his picture taken for three months or are you waiting until six?
Me: Uh, yeah I haven't done that yet (Truth: Did not even cross my mind. Was not listed in the manual I received. I mean, the tune up part I get, but pictures with the tune ups? No Clue.)

Last Week
Me: I think I might take Gideon for his six month pictures to this one place. Have you ever taken your kid there?
Different Friend: No.
[Conversation ensues about people who recommend it and the cheapness yet goodness of place].
Friend: So you're going to do his Christmas pictures there?
Me: Is that what I'm supposed to do?
Friend: No, you can do what you want, but if it were me I'd probably get Christmas pictures done now so I can send them out with the cards.
Me: (Cards?! With the addresses? And the stamps? And actually putting things into the mailbox? Can't people just read my blog?)

See? Lazy. (lion licks the lollipop.....who's with me on that last one?)

punkins = delicious

2007-10-26T08:39:00.000-05:00

I showed Gideon pumpkins this week. As you can see, he loved them. He doesn't even know about the pie.

In Case of Dog

2007-10-25T10:11:00.001-05:00

So the other day we all noticed that Tuffy, the smaller wider of the two dogs, was not acting like himself. Normally he is the one jumping everywhere and running around in excited little circles. He's very good at causing a commotion and also very good at looking like the puppy he no longer is. It's endearing (especially in light of his brother who is neurotic, self-obsessed and paranoid).

Usually, as I go about my day, I have two small furry shadows. They find bits of sunshine to bask in while I make lunch or clean the kitchen. They lay at my feet while I feed the baby. They keep watch on the steps while I make the bed and the baby sleeps. Tuffy is the one who cares less about Gideon, so he tends to wander off and find a toy or meander outside when the baby steals his attention. Instead of all of that, he'd been sluggish.

The past couple of days, he'd been camped out on the third step all day. He wasn't eating much. He drank a little water now and then. He rarely went outside. It didn't really register with me right away that something was wrong, but once we all talked about it, I started noticing just how little he was involved.

The vet thought he should come in, but since he wasn't emitting any bodily fluids, they thought it would be okay to wait until Friday. Turns out they were wrong, but we had to get to the emitting bodily fluids part before we knew that.

Last night, as I was about to leave for supper, I found him lying on the third step with a puddle of pee next to him. The carpet is so nicely resistant to moisture that the pee was just standing on top of it like a big yellow flag with an arrow pointing toward the vet. If it could have found a way to make a dollar sign, I'm sure it would have. -

Turns out he was in a lot of pain and, being a dachshund, that pain is in his back. Go figure. He has a compacted disc and it's genetic and in 'merica that eventually means surgery. In Germany, Pogo had this awesome ultrasound treatment that made this problem go away. It was infinitely cheaper than surgery, non-invasive and powerful good.

Looks like Tuffy might just win that European vacation he's been dreaming of after all.

Happy that his life no longer requires climbing stairs, but slightly confused about why he is getting scolded for attempting to run, play and jump (all are off limits for three weeks...as if I already did not have something that makes me carry him all the time)

Alligator dog thinks that he is getting the shaft and cannot figure out why he still must fend for himself with all these stairs.

A Little Bit More

2007-10-23T14:03:00.000-05:00

Last week, while eating supper at church, I was talking with another mom about how to balance all of the stuff that is required of moms. We were talking about sickness and colds, naps and sleep scheduling, play times and play dates; the usual stuff. I lamented that I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by all of the things that need to get accomplished and, knowing me, she asked if I was doing too much.

Of course I am.

I am completely over-committed. I am totally packing my weeks with things that are not necessary. They are good things, in and of themselves, but they are not required. I should cut some of them out, leaving the ones that must be and the ones that aren't so stressful. I'm not sure where exactly that leaves me at the end of the day, but I need to figure that out. I've always been good at overcommitting. I've never been good at saying 'no.' Time to downsize. Time to prioritize. Time to do a little chop chop, snip snip. Speaking of which, I'd better go make an appointment to get my hair cut.

Will there be time to play on the changing table?

And you promise that we can still play in my crib when I first wake up?

You're not thinking about taking away the chewing time, are you?

Well, then I'm okay.

Warning: Objects Within His Reach Will be Pulled Toward Mouth

2007-10-16T09:25:00.000-05:00

So, this morning, after sleeping in a chair with the Gid for three hours (see: coughing baby keeping everybody awake; also: mama feeling very sorry for baby with drainage and tons of drool; and: behbeh is getting chompers, nothing to be done) this morning the two of us were down in the kitchen, a part of our normal morning routine. I was eating a piece of cherry pie (sorry, Jud!) (Laurie, any idea how many calories are in a healthy sized piece of gooey cherry goodness? Yeah, I don't know either, so I'm going to guess 10) and drinking my second cup of coffee and first glass of ice water.

Gideon is experimenting with drinking new things...mostly ice water from my glass. He is not at all interested in drinking the baby apple juice I watered down for him in his bottle. That is gross and should not be put to his lips. I can hardly believe anybody even suggested that cold things should be placed in bottles. Cold things go in Mama's glass. Mama's glass goes in his mouth. Got it?

I finished ma pie and sat back down with my coffee and water while he played with his awesome teething toy. He got a little fussy, so I picked him up and he was playing in my lap. Then he reached behind himself, grabbed hold of the place mat and pulled.

Coffee? Ice water? On me. On the table. On the floor.

Baby? Dry. Totally dry.

Dogs? Please ignore their twitching.

Hey, you got a problem wit dat?

A Safe Distance without a Place Mat

My adorability makes up for any amount of cleaning.

Mourning

2007-10-15T14:53:00.000-05:00

So, Jud has decided to no longer support the Nebraska football program until "Regime Change" occurs. On Saturday he wore an orange shirt to show support for the Big Red tumble. I understand what he's saying. What I watched on Saturday wasn't even close to Nebraska football. Everyone who saw it must have thought the same things, so I won't beleaguer you wit my thoughts.

Instead, I'll tell you what I want. I want an option quarterback. I want a huge front line. I want half shirt jerseys and big nasty guts hanging out. I want a team that doesn't make excuses. I want players that don't miss their assignments. I want fire in the belly and big hits on the field. I want to enjoy watching the games.

In the meantime, it looks like the Axis of Evil is slowly coming down.

And Other Things You Didn't Care To Know

2007-10-10T13:51:00.000-05:00

Things I have done within the past week...

1. Changed eleventy million diapers.

2. Hosted a party where we played Scattegories. Anyone who's ever played that game with Jud around knows how much fun we had. Somehow this came up again. What were the chances of us getting a 'P' for that card again?

3. Killed my mom at Wii bowling.

4. Broke two toes on a piece of baby gear in the hallway.

5. Did not kill the two little wiener schnitzels that run around this place and bark all the ever-loving time...yet.

6. Attempted an art project (you could call it a craft, if you must) from the Better Homes & Gardens November magazine that looked crazy easy and was absolutely the opposite.

7. Hosted a lunch for some ladies where I displayed the poorly done craft.

8. Made two cheesecakes. Chocolate Chip and Cherry.

9. Continued to hope that the magical laundry fairy will come in the middle of the night to take care of the Katrina-esque mess in the basement.

10. Decided to cut my hair. Still figuring out how it should be cut. Something hip-er. Something that I wouldn't have done while working in an office. Something better than this. Any suggestions?

[Also accepting suggestions about how to rotate pictures imported with Picasa so that Blogger will not upload them landscaped].

All Apologies (to my Aggie-loving homies)

2007-10-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

I think this story is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s. (probably because Nebraska is now the butt of every Big 12 joke and I'm looking for a little respite, but...).

We were kind of hoping to land some of these. Now it looks like the frat is in trouble for making and selling them. We may resort to the old spray paint and cheap t-shirt trick, since we're going to the A&M game in a couple of weeks.

I don't think I ever gave you my opinion about this news item, and I know you've been wondering.

I think it's nowhere near as big a deal as the media hype. I don't think we should all go round hacking up animals and the like, but I also think we should give the man community service at the SPCA for the rest of his life and let him play some football. I agree with my friends who have noted that he should've killed his girlfriend, wife or some random woman before he killed those dogs because at least then he wouldn't have to do any jail time. Those dogs' families must have paid a pretty penny for their attorneys. I also think he should write a book entitled "Oops, I Did It" that way we can all talk about Britney, OJ and Michael Vick in one sentence instead of talking about real news. I'm so glad we've all gotten bored with things that really matter. At least now our society is just that much closer to collapsing.

Cheering For the Free Grace Team

2007-10-08T16:50:00.000-05:00

After Saturday's sorry performance, we've decided to let Gideon support Tim Tebow.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know it's Florida. But, he's running the option. He's a home-schooled kid. His parents are a part of the Free Grace Alliance. And he's awesome.

Plus, Gideon looks super cute in his chomp-chomp-Gator shirt (which also reminds us of Brandon & Zanna's dog). Who could tell him 'no'?

Why I am Looking for a New Pediatrician and other snippets from a lazy bloggers life

2007-10-06T11:05:00.001-05:00

[In all fairness, I warned you guys that I might not be posting on here so much, you know, what with life and working and that whole pursuit of happiness thing (turns out, it is not found at the bottom of four weeks of illness, but can be reached from there through antibiotics and probably four fingers of Old Grandad, but since I'm nursing, it's just antibiotics)]

Did anybody catch that Jenny McCarthy deal on Oprah? I've always been concerned about immunizations and then I watched that and confirmed what my Mom-dar was saying (Which was: 'Stop the immunization train because, sista, it can wait until he's older'). I'm not against shots in theory. I think it's awesome we've eradicated diseases that used to wipe us out pretty easily. I'm all for keeping up the tetanus shots and making sure I'm good to go before I leave the country. I'm just incredibly leery about giving teeny tiny babies five or six immunizations all at once (want to be freaked out with me? Check out the possible side effects/reactions to any of the shots).

So, anyway, we went to the ped doc last week and I wanted to tell her that I don't want my kid to get shots anymore, but instead of being able to speak my mind I got knocked backwards by a bunch of ridiculous things that spilled out of her mouth, like...

1. Baby is not fat enough.
- See Jud. This explains everything.

2. Baby has 'weird folds of skin under eyes that may make him look lazy-eyed.'
- Everyone says he has my eyes. Crazy Pediatrician can keep it.

3. Baby has pectus excavatum. Surgery is likely.
- Well, maybe. His dad has it too and he never had surgery. It can get better or worse depending on how he grows. Why not say "let's see what happens" or "here's a pamphlet about it" or something other than "your kid is going under the knife" especially when he wouldn't be a candidate for it until he's at least 6.

4. Baby has two rough skin patches. I asked if they could be eczema. She said she thought they were ring worm. I said "doesn't that usually start on the belly?" She said, "Sometimes." I wanted to say "What on earth is wrong with you?" and then she would've had to say "I like freaking out new moms. Makes me giggle."
- I bought some Eucerin to get them smoothed out.

What do we do when we don't like something? We stick out our tongues!!

So, yeah. I'm done with her. Done. And I'm still going to delay shots. And I have no idea where to take my kid, but I'm going to call my friend today. My friend who doesn't let her kids get shots either. Who thinks most doctors could really benefit from a little time getting to know the human body without labelling it and prescribing meds without much thought.

And Gideon thinks, that's a good idea.

Man.

2007-09-15T17:51:00.001-05:00

So our template got hosed. Hang on. We'll make 'er purty soon.

Sickness and Disease

2007-09-10T11:46:00.000-05:00

My kid got his very first cold last week and he is still sniffing and choking on the goo draining down his throat. Of course, we've had it too, which makes taking care of the sick little guy even more enjoyable. Who doesn't want to feel wiped out and snotty while trying to convince a four month old to sleep? Right? In spite of the head goo, he's still been pretty pleasant.

Oh yeah, and he's getting huge.....

Gearing up on Game Day

Chillin with Grans while she watches her stories

Hanging out with Grandma...it really is this much fun

It's Not What You Think

2007-09-04T14:17:00.000-05:00

So, on Sunday, there was a panel at church discussing singleness and all of the side dishes that are served up with it. The panel was really great and they had a lot of good things to say. I couldn't help but feel like the people were naturally defensive or that as they clarified statements they weren't having to remind all of the listeners that they are humans. Why? Well, frankly because the whole world is set up for groups of two or more. And because there is all this pressure for single people to get married. And because married people are somehow 'complete' or some-nonsense. And because everybody is always trying to set them up with someone.

I remember once when I was working somewhere before I was married, a friend told me that someone asked them why I wasn't married and the friend then told me a bunch of reasons they conveyed and asked if I agreed with them. Some of them, yes. Some of them, no. But really, what I wanted to say, was 'what does it matter? Why can't I be single and that be that. Why does anybody make it their concern that I'm not dating somebody?" Because, seriously, it's not only fine to be single (and now that I've written that word about fifty times, I am again reminded about how much I despise that term...it's not like I'm now a double), it's better.

What?

Better?

Yeah, check it out.....

1 Corinthians 7
Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband...But this I say by way of concession, not of command. Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am.However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that. But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. But if they do not have self-control, let them marry....

...Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk, And so I direct in all the churches. Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.

...Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called. Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you....

...But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

So, what is Paul trying to tell us? He's saying that it's better to remain solely focused on the things that really matter, the things that are above, the things that have eternal value. When you are married (as I am) you are distracted from the uni-focused life and must think about your spouse and how to ensure harmony in the home.

Before I was married I could put in sixty, seventy, eighty hours at the church and the only thing that was damaged in the end was my bleary eyesight. Now, I am fettered, by a husband, a baby, making meals, and all the trappings of married life. Good things? Yes (and Paul does not say they are not good). But was I of greater impact in my church family and in the world when I didn't have all of these things? Absolutely. I wish that people would have been able to see all of that instead of wondering if they knew someone who'd be 'right for me.'

Let's stop acting like married people are complete. Let's stop thinking being single is some kind of holding pattern until they all join us on this side of the unity candle. Let's not give them pity. It's not wanted. And it's not appropriate. Let's be thankful there are people living single lives, for the glory of God.

[steps off soapbox. sits down.]

What Can I Say?

2007-08-24T22:49:00.000-05:00

So, I got this in the mail the other day. You can see why it caught my eye.

(My favorite part is how they photoshop-ed this guys arm pit. Nice.)

Sorry, Zan! I love you!!

Confessions

2007-08-23T13:47:00.000-05:00

There are a few things I'd like to tell you about, some of which may not be at all interesting to you and the other stuff even less so, but, as always, feel free to skim.

I have not yet completed all of the thank you notes for presents people have given Gideon. I am a horrible thank you note writer, in spite of my extreme thankfulness. This is not my mother's fault. She raised me right. I just can't ever get my act in order to sit down and do them and then to deliver them. Every time I see the bag, I run for the computer and tell myself that I should be working, which I do (or sometimes I poke around on blogs and such, which is equal in weight to working versus thank you note writing, I think). At this point, I may just have Gideon write them himself. They're his gifts anyway.

I submitted an online question to our bank about home loans today after I put together our budget for this next month. I think we are heart-wrenchingly close to actually putting the whole 'home buying' thing in gear. Makes me sweaty. It's that whole debt thing. My entire life I've been trying to avoid it. Running from it by choosing a school where my mother worked for college (cha-ching!), furiously shredding any credit card application that came to rest in my mailbox, and paying off a car loan in less than half the time because having to write the check for the payment and put it in the mail is just as painful as parting with the money in the first place. I'm trying to remember to breathe.

Gideon loves being outside and all of the storms that moved through over the past few days have made the temperatures perfect for us to spend his awake time in the yard. He just sits and watches the leaves move in the breeze, studies the grass, and gets really excited about anything that flies. When we go back inside there is usually some protest crying or a little fist beating my chest. Jud has a half day tomorrow and we're going to spend the afternoon (if it is not raining) outside somewhere.

Now I'd better go write some thank you notes....right after I do some work....which will be right after I read a couple of blogs.

If I can't be outside, I'd rather be jumping.

Whirlwind

2007-08-19T20:53:00.000-05:00

This past week was absolutely incredible. Last Sunday night our dear friends, Daniel & Jenn (and his mom and grandparents) rolled into Omaha on their way back south. We spent the evening with them and it was SO good to see them. In a lot of ways it seems like our life in Dallas never happened, like all of those friends we made and things we did and people we loved are all a made up fairytale of goodness that we tell, but didn't really live (we miss you all so much). We sent them off on Monday and thought about them driving all day.

Tuesday came and so did Grans. She flew in that afternoon and will be here through late October. Four generations under one roof is quite a feat and thus far there have not been any real issues, which I will chalk up to the fact that Grans only wears one hearing aid and it's not usually in her ear. She told me a story or two that I haven't heard before and repeated several that I've been hearing for a few years. This used to only be something my dad's dad did, but I think it's catching and now Grans has it too. The sad part is that I've caught myself doing it too. So, you know, if you heard this one before....

Friday morning, Jud's family rolled into town. His youngest sister was moving down for college and we helped move her in on Saturday. She's on Rebecca's hall and we know she's going to have a blast (we did quite a bit of reminiscing while we were driving down to the school...college was so incredibly fun...the road trips...the drama...the pranks...the green nun...the coffee...it was also incredibly stretching and such an intense period of personal and spiritual growth...even with all the growing pains and sleep deprivation, neither of us would trade in those days).

In the middle of all of that, Jud got offered a new job, to do something completely different and we thought about it...a lot. He'd interviewed and we'd prayed and he got offered pretty sweet money. The trade off was for longer hours, more stress and in all probability junky supervisors who are just this side of crazy. He eventually talked about all of it with his current employer (toward whom he had no ill will nor did he posess a real desire to leave) and they found a better solution. So he is staying there and we are both happy. We both think that ultimately, what he really chose, was to be there. To be there for Gideon. To be there for me. To be there for the ministry we are leading. To be present and fully committed to the things that matter most. I'm so glad he did.

The Scoop

2007-08-13T09:05:00.000-05:00

Here's the 411 and where it came from (thanks WOWT).

Eight homes were evacuated in La Vista Saturday morning when police found what they say was a pipe bomb. A neighbor near 7800 La Vista Drive reported a suspicious vehicle and that led to the discovery of the explosive.

The quiet La Vista neighborhood turned into a hot spot as authorities moved in around 8:30 a.m.

Cheryl Mace says, "I didn't know if someone got hit by a car or what happened and I'm still not sure what's going on."

What was happening focused on the Jeep driven by 29-year-old Edward J.O'Neill.

La Vista Police Lieutenant D.J. Barcal says, "There are indicators he wasn't who he claimed to be. Identification didn't match the driver. Subsequent investigation led to his arrest."

When officers first took the suspect into custody, they found drug paraphernalia, a pair of brass knuckles and then, 20-minutes later, they found the suspicious device.

Lt. Barcal says, "It was an extreme danger not only to the officers but to the residents who live on either side of the vehicle."

Neighbors were moved out as the bomb squad moved in.

Lt. Barcal says the device was a, "homemade pipe bomb device -- approximately four inches, capped on both ends. It was a metal device with a fuse four to five inches long wrapped around the device."

The device was removed and neighbors were back in their homes by noon.

And in a possibly related story...

Explosive in Parking Lot
Shortly before 1 p.m., Omaha Police removed a pipe bomb from the parking lot of the PetsMart store at Oak View Mall on Saturday.

Authorities were called about a suspicious package and officers located the pipe bomb in the lot.

The bomb response unit was called and removed the explosive. It will be disposed of at a later date.

The officers also located what appeared to be two incendiary devices that the suspect attempted to detonate. The devices were removed from the scene.

La Vista police say the device found at the pet store is similar to the one recovered in La Vista. The investigations continue but the two incidents have not been formally connected.

Apparently Nebraska is the place to be if you are making bombs in your basement. Good grief!

Pipe(Bomb)Dreams (pt. II)

2007-08-11T11:29:00.000-05:00

The bomb squad is now outside. More updates to follow...after we run some errands.

Pipe(Bomb)Dreams

2007-08-11T10:52:00.000-05:00

So, this is going on just up the street from us...

So, this is going on just up the street from us....

The LaVista cops pulled over a stolen vehicle.

There's a pipe bomb in the back.

The Omaha bomb squad is on the way.

We'll keep you posted.

Can I Get What What?

2007-08-07T13:11:00.000-05:00

Not that long ago a friend of mine posted on her blog about how being a mom is tiring. I agree with that. I also know that one of the things that makes me less tired is working out. I know some people will disagree with me on that, but I don't mean the hours and hours at the gym slaving away until my hair falls out kind (you know who you are...and I'm glad that you have chilled out about those overly intense workouts). I mean the thirty to sixty minutes of aerobic activity...running, stair climbing, tread climbing (have you done this? find a tread climber near you and get on that thing! You'll burn more calories than running, but you're walking and it feels good), or whatever the next best thing at the gym is.

I haven't been to the gym now since last week (although it seems like much longer) mostly because to get there, I need to go around 4:30 or 5:00 am and I'm loving sleep more than being awake. I was feeling pretty perplexed about how to burn those calories and wake myself up, until I found FitTV. My parents have the super deluxe digital cable package and it has an entire channel dedicated to working out. Some of the workouts are clearly from the 80s (sse: headbands, shiny lycra/spandex leotards, and now vintage Nikes) but sweat is sweat, so whatever.

Yesterday I did a "dancers workout" along with some yoga and I thought it was no big deal, that technically it was barely a workout at all, the sweat was not much and the weights I used were light. Today, however, I realize that it was doozy. My muscles are telling me that I worked hard, everywhere except where I really want them to, which is of course my abs.

I'm back down to my pre-baby weight now but it has been redistributed into odd pockets of flesh around my torso and upper arms. I can fit into most of pre-baby pants, but with a nasty muffin top. Shirts that have no buttons usually fit but if they do they usually highlight the extra roll of squishy-ness just above my pants, which is not exactly the look I'm going for right now (I can't wait until it comes into style. I'm going to rock that fashion trend).

All of that to say, the next time you see your mother, hug her and hug her big. She gave up her body for you.

This picture was taken when I thought I was 'showing'. Little did I know, I'd be three months post delivery and wishing I had that belly.

(Curses on blogger for not letting me rotate this image!)

But I still wouldn't trade that belly for this little guy.

Not even when he's doing this.

Getting Over Myself

2007-07-31T16:21:00.000-05:00

When the kid was first born Amy asked me if I was going to be one of those moms who actually stay at home all the time. I'd thought about that a lot before she asked me. I envisioned myself strolling outside with him all the time, going to the park even if he couldn't really enjoy it yet, spending plenty of time of time with my other mommy friends, taking care of the shopping while Jud was at work and volunteering for all sorts of worthy causes. And then I realized how much work it is to do all of those things, how much time it takes just to get him and me ready to walk out the door for a day, how awkward it is for me to cart around a screaming baby, how much he likes to be in familiar surroundings and how much work I need to get done. So, even though I told her no, I mostly stay at home now.

Today, however, I made a trip to Walmart, just the two of us. It's not that big of a deal, I know, but I get a little twitchy at the thought of him melting down in stores. He did it once when I was at Super Target with my mom and I immediately started sweating and heading toward the nearest exit. I just really don't want to be that woman. I don't want people's ridiculous advice, disapproving stares or clucking tongues. I just want to shop like a normal person and have no one notice me.

That wasn't quite the way it happened today. He screamed a little bit. He eventually nodded off in his car seat. And everything was fine. It takes less to get us out the door now and I have slightly less anxiety about him screaming in public places.

I still like being in our house together, though. That's when I get to see him like this...

Sleepy and content

Happy and awake

Suspicious and funny

Gangsta - all the way

Dander

2007-07-28T21:22:00.001-05:00

Tonight we went to a bbq that had to be moved inside due to impending rain and the humidity that rolled in with the storm clouds. There was an official agenda for the bbq, which was totally fine because people knew in advance that a presentation was going to be made. However some of the people apparently thought that the Q&A portion of the evening would be a good time to grill the presenters. It was a little odd. I hope that the presenters did not feel badly about the event.

While listening to the pitch, I was sitting next to Jud on a love seat and I'd started to feel kind of sick. A little tired. My face was swelling a little. My throat started to get scratchy. I started looking at the love seat and I saw it. Cat hair.

I did ten years of allergy shots (woot! woot!) but the air force refused to give me shots to immunize me toward cats (Doctor: "just stay away from them" Me: "that's what I try to do, but when they are some place unexpected and I can't breath, am I supposed to just stop breathing?" Doctor: "Bascially."). So the cat hair is eating away at my sinuses and my lungs and I am feeling sorry for myself but, not wanting to interrupt the presentation, I keep sitting there. The nose is running. The eyes are too.

And then the choking began. Not me. Gideon.

His eyes were red and puffy. He couldn't properly clear his air way.

He's totally allergic to cats.

Good thing these don't bother him...

Because we know who would win in this guy's heart.

The Writing's on the Wall

2007-07-18T21:27:00.001-05:00

By principle I am not superstitious. It's not biblical. It's not logical. It's not good. But in practice, it's there. Somewhere in the back of my head I think things like "oh, don't say that" or "not today."

I knew I was this way when it came to sports. The Huskers lost this one game when I made a black bean tortilla casserole and it has since been banned during the season. I also frequently try to sit in the same place as the last time when they won. I know it's crazy. I know I shouldn't think that way. But I do. And I laugh at myself because I know it's all a farce.

Motherhood has not helped the superstitiousness. If I say something out loud, then it won't be true anymore. Or, conversely, if I don't notice how great something was, perhaps it will go away entirely. But usually, it is the former.

Take, for instance, the post I wrote where I told you Gideon doesn't take pacifiers. Guess what he took the next day? And now? He'll eat from a bottle without protest.

Or tonight, as we sat down to eat dinner, he was asleep and just as we went to pray I said with glee "we're eating dinner and the baby is sleeping!" and as the prayer began, who do you think started crying? Yeah, not Jud.

And then there is the vomit. He didn't. Ever. Sometimes he would vurp (vomit + burp = vurp) but he would just swallow it back down and we would never see it. Granted, his eyes got a little bulgy and he didn't look so great after that, but he didn't throw up. And then I told someone "It's okay to bounce him like that. He doesn't throw up." I think you know the punchline here. Do you have any idea how sad it is to pick your baby up out of their crib with white stickiness all over their face, in their ears, matting down their hair, soaking their crib sheet?

Makes.me.feel.terrible.
Worst mother ever.
Because I jinxed him.

Mama's Sorry.

Of Mastitis and Falling

2007-07-18T07:58:00.001-05:00

Starting on Monday night I went another round with mastitis. It came on really quickly and one minute I was putting the baby to bed...the next I was falling down the stairs in an attempt to get some water. I barely remember the falling down part, but I freaked out the family, so I'm sure they won't forget it.

Yesterday was spent sleeping while Grandma skipped work to take care of the behbeh. And thank goodness because I was one sorry excuse for a person yesterday.

While sleeping the day away, I had two intense dreams that have stuck with me. The first one was all about my attempt to become the "Queen of the Fair". It involved having to complete a competitive food competition (where one of the items to eat was a chocolate cake shaped like a boat, filled with cherries) and making snickerdoodles. (Jenn - I think this may have sort of been like being crowned the Noodling Princess. Don't worry, though. That one's still for you!) The other dream involved Dwayne Wayne (did you watch "A Different World"?) teaching people how to do that wierd climbing up cloth thing that's so cool while in a bizarre metal structure in western Nebraska. Dwayne Wayne got really mad at the people he was trying to teach and blew up the building. I survived and was trying to escape back to Omaha. This girl, Stacey, from college wouldn't let me get in her car and I was forced to keep running while carrying a cot. I finally ran into some people who were RVing in a field and was trying to convince them to take me back to Omaha. Then I woke up.

I'm feeling much better today.

I Don't Even Have a Mastercard

2007-07-09T17:06:00.000-05:00

Three in one ebony baby crib that will grow with him, unless some other little baby steals it away; two hundred nineteen dollars.

Matching ebony changing table that was purchased from an online store for a fraction of what the furniture store wanted; seventy-nine dollars.

Room darkening red curtains, hung with care by his father; thirty-three dollars.

A happy, well rested baby who sleeps way longer than most college students; unbelievably, without a doubt, priceless.

There are some things money will never buy, but it really helps to make for a super cute nursery, and, of course, for everything else...there's cash (because, people, if you don't have the money to buy it, leave it at the store).

Feats of Strength

2007-07-05T18:56:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I don't usually report the news here, but people, this is amazing.

I'll air my grievances later.

Independence Day

2007-07-04T09:52:00.001-05:00

Today is Gideon's two month birthday. He is going to love all that birthday cake we're going to feed him. The neighbors decided to throw a huge party for him yesterday that lasted well into the night. They were screaming and drinking and having a great time, right around the time he was born. It was pretty special, especially when they shot off all those fireworks. They really went all out.

Direct Kick to the Head

2007-07-03T14:59:00.000-05:00

So, we use electricty. Plenty of it, like the solid 'Mericans we are. We turn on the A/C and we stand with the door open to the fridge while we figure out what we want to eat. We wander from room to room, sometimes forgetting to turn off a light or two. And when the bill arrives in the mail, we think, "goodnight! That's a lot of money to make us comfortable."

But when our final bill for our place in Dallas arrived from Direct Energy, I could not quite wrap my head around it. Here's what it said:

May 31 - Jun 12 (12 days): 521 kWh
Jun 12 - Jun 18 (6 days): 112 kWh

Total cost for both: $97.79

Now, I realize that this is not a crazy amount of money to pay for electricity, especially in good ole Texas, but it also doesn't look quite right either. So, I started reading over the bill a little more closely only to discover that there are no meter readings for that first period of time. The spaces where they should be? Blank. The blood pressure in my skull? Rising.

So I call. And I talk with LaToya. She is very little help to me. The only solid thing I get from her is that our meter was changed on June 12. I ask to speak with her supervisor. I never get to. I hang up.

I call back. I speak with Carla. Carla seems much more with the program of customer service (lots of repeating back my statements as questions and apologizing for my feelings about it all). When she suggested I call TXU and ask to speak with their technician to get the old meter reading for the dates in question, I become less happy. Apparently the old meter is in some kind of storage facility and TXU owns them all. But I never had any agreement with TXU. I don't even have the TXU number. I made an agreement with Direct Energy (who, I know, buys their space on the grid from TXU and all that [still don't really understand how they can do that and sell the energy for less, but that is a whole nother post]) and will not call Direct Energy's supplier to figure out Direct Energy's problem.

I just spoke with Ahmed, Carla's supervisor, and he is filing a complaint, but it may take up to 3 weeks to get the results back from TXU. In the meantime, my bill is due and they want me to pay it in full. If they find a discrepancy, they'll reimburse me. Perhaps they think I live in a place where pigs have sprouted wings and soar above the clouds. After a bit of negotiation, Ahmed is going to call me back within 24-72 hours with the resolution. Thank you, Ahmed and have a great 4th of July.

Gideon says "Stop trying to rob us blind!" and "Hey you kids, get off my grass!"

Baby Bjork

2007-07-03T08:17:00.000-05:00

Last night, while getting ready to go for a walk, we decided to put the baby in the front baby carrier that Laurie is letting us borrow. Since I wear the baby in the sling all of the time, I figured it was better if Jud got to wear him in the other carrier.

I got it out of the bag and handed it to Jud. He started trying to figure out the series of snaps, buckles and belts and said "this doesn't go between my legs, does it?"

Just Giving The People What They Want

2007-07-02T21:37:00.000-05:00

I know. I know.

He's growing like a weed. He'll be two months old on Wednesday and he can already roll over (from his tummy to his back), click his tongue back at you after you click yours at him (and then he laughs and laughs), steal your heart with any one of his cute faces.

He loves baths and bouncing. He likes meal time, but only if you do not bring a bottle anywhere near his mouth. Bottles are terrible. So are pacifiers.

His thumb might be better, if he could ever find it. For now, he settles for the fist.

We're sleep training this week and I could pull my own hair out listening to him cry with all of his might from time to time. But, it's getting better fast and the sleep log I'm keeping shows his progress.

I think he's super smart. I think he's unbelievably cute. I think I'll always think those things.

Here you go.

Momentum

2007-06-29T10:17:00.001-05:00

We always knew that our life in Omaha was busy. Back before our move to Texas we had quite a bit going on, mostly related to my work at the church and all of our great friends' activities.

When we moved down to Dallas, we initially didn't know many people at all. I worked a job that could be left at the office at quitting time. Jud worked from home. He had a lot of school work to do; work that was assigned from one of the most prestigious seminaries in the country. It was not easy work, but my husband is pretty much brilliant, so even when it was hard, it was never too time consuming. We went to church, but we didn't have to be there to unlock the doors and lock them up too. Over the past two years we had a lot of freedom and not a ton of responsibilities.

Now that we are back in Omaha, we can feel the wheels starting to slowly gain speed and it's both good and bad. It's bad for this little site because it is the first thing that gets neglected. It's good for our little guy because he has lots of opportunities for people to love on him. It could be bad for us because it's easy to loose track of each other when we're on the go so much. But it could be good for us because we are more intentional about our time together. It's hard to get so involved here because we loved all of the down time we had for each other. There were so many nights we spent just the two of us, making each other laugh and cuddling on the sofa and talking about life. It's hard not to miss those days.

We're trying to keep the wheels from spinning too fast, but we know the past two years were pretty selfish ones too. We love being in community with other people, but we didn't do a ton of it. We love ministering through our local church, but we didn't do a ton of it. Now that opportunities for both of those things pop up almost every night, it's hard to find the balance. We'll try to stay more connected, but I can't promise you that we won't get over-committed to other things from time to time. I guess you'll know what speed we're at by how often we post here.

And They're Always Glad You Came

2007-06-19T09:04:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the first day of reality. Jud went off to work around 7:15. Grandma and Poppi left before 8:00. Gideon and I stayed home. I wasn't really sure what the day would hold, but figured the house needed some much needed organization following the big truck of household items that seemed to have spewed it's contents all over my parent's house. So, I got to work. Every time Gideon feel asleep, I put him down and organized. When he was awake and happy, he laid on our bed while I put clothes away and rearranged the furniture. We got tons of stuff done, but by 3:45, we were both pretty tired and we slept.

Poppi woke me up at 5:00 and we got our rears in gear. Grandma and Jud rolled in a little bit later and after eating supper we all booked it up to the church. Poppi taught a counselor training session that Jud attended while Grandma, Gideon and I went to our baby shower.

The Multipurpose Room was filled with ladies who love us and it was so fun to just be back with all of them. Gaye did the devotional, talking about the stages of parenting...Care giving, Coaching and Counseling...and Bonnie was the hostess who made it all fabulous (and she made the cake!). Now, instead of having our belongings strewn across the house, we have presents for Gideon.

It was a very good first day of normal and I love being able to stay home with our little guy. It's a totally different kind of job than the ones I've worked at hospitals and law firms and churches and in the tech world, for one thing nobody ever pooped on me at those other jobs (well, at least not literally) but it's a pretty great kind of different. I can see where isolation could be an issue, but thankfully there are lots of young moms around here and I plan to call them up to hang out. There were too many missed opportunities for fun with friends in Dallas and I don't plan to let these days slip by like I did before just because I was tired. Speaking of which, I've got to go get ready for a lunch date.

Here's a few shots for you...

Aunt Ronke putting him to sleep the night before we moved.

Grandma putting him to sleep the night after we moved.

Harley looking all old school Disney Robin Hood.

Gideon sleeping on the boppy.

Gideon's Dedication

Baby Shower Cake - Bonnie is so great!

Gaye holding Gideon

Pretty Presents...Thank you CBC ladies!

The First One

2007-06-17T05:03:00.001-05:00

If you haven't yet joined the baby club, you might not know what I didn't know either until six weeks ago. Babies aren't the only ones who get a new name when they pop into the world. Everybody in the family gets new names too.

I'm "Mom", or more typically "Mama". That doesn't seem like rocket science, I know, but there were a few times when all of that babysitting lingo would roll off my tongue like silver and a "Kimmy's here" would pop out. We're obviously not letting Gideon call us by our first names, so I tried to correct myself and add a "Mama's here" right afterwards. It's a good thing he could barely see at that point because otherwise he may have thought I've got multiple personalities or something since it was just the two of us hanging out. I've pretty much kicked that habit, so he won't spend his first year looking around for that Kimmy person.

Then there is Grandma. She was "Mom" or "Mommy" for about twenty-seven years and even though I started calling her "PJ" when I was in high school, the default was always "Mom". And now there's also Poppi (which I thought would be Poppy, but when he started posting here, he used the 'i' and I'll just follow his lead). I can't say that I ever called him "Rick" but he has been "Daddy" for forever.

Both of those names have been difficult for me to switch and when I'm talking to Gideon I frequently get them confused. I'll be telling him who is going to do something in my baby talk voice "Mom's gonna get you" and realize that I should've said "Grandma's gonna get you" because I'm Mom and she's Grandma. Or I'll call Poppi "Granddad" or "Dad" when I say who's stinky from being outside, or who is going to let him sleep on their chest and take a nap with him.

The biggest change has been Jud's name. I'd always kind of sworn that I would not call my husband "Dad" because it seems a little freaky. It never seemed odd for my parents to refer to each other that way, but it was strange when friends did. Hearing a twenty-something reference her husband as "Daddy" just didn't sit right and in my judgmental mind I thought "not me. I am never going to sound crazy like that." But then we had Gideon and I realized that you can't go around calling your spouse by their name to your child, or that's what your kid will call them too. You know, if his first word was "Jud" it really wouldn't be that cute. So here I am, calling my Jud "Dad" and "Daddy" and I don't feel strange doing it. It doesn't seem bizarre. It doesn't seem wrong. It's just right. It feels right. It sounds great.

Jud.

Dad.

It fits really well.

Happy Father's Day, babe.

It's Finally Come

2007-06-14T09:38:00.000-05:00

[CONTEST: I'll send a prize to the first person who can tell me which song I am referencing in the title of this post. Prizes may include a dachshund who will not stop whining, any number of items I marked for a garage sale during our packing (we have so much stuff that I'd forgotten about!), or a gift card for something super delicious.]

[NOTE TO KD REGARDING LAST POST SWEARING ALEIGANCE TO SCOOTERS: I haven't had your coffee yet! I will soon! I can be converted. I am open. Also, to convince me, please feel free to let me sample as many drinks as you'd like.]

It's my first full day somewhere in middle America and I've gotta tell you that I feel good about it. That probably has a lot to do with the fact that I slept in a bed for the first time in four weeks last night (This is the part where I get a lot of snarky tongue clicks from people who think I'm ruining my child by co-sleeping on the sofa. Next is the part where I am crushed by the guilt because I am terrified they might be right). Gideon slept in the Pack and Play (Laurie, you are going to get so many hugs and kisses for sending that thing over to Paula's!!) and I didn't even have to crawl in there with him. But, and here is the part where every person in the US calls CPS on me....I let him sleep on his tummy.

Excuses for breaking the federal government's recommendation for how my son should sleep:

1. The kid is so much like me. His stomach is the sleep maker. It gurgles and it growls and it feels so good to pull those legs up under himself when the gas is going through. Tummy sleeping is gas friendly.

2. Startle-reflex. Let me tell you that he throws his arms up and says "yeah" about every ten minutes when he's on his back (even in his car seat, or the swing, or the papasan). It's like he's doing the wave, but very unexpectedly since he has to wait for it to get all around the room before he can through his hands up again. (Parents are now all "that's why you swaddle him, stupid. Too which I say, see #3).

3. He hates swaddling. He screams. He kicks. He loses his mind as soon as he loses the ability to shove his little hands up by his face. Do you remember his pictures in utero? The hands were by the face. That is where the hands go. Leave the hands alone, lady. And so I do.

4. He is strong. Since his very first week, he could lift his head up. Turning from side to side is so week number two and he is very much over all the fuss about that. Watch him do this one handed push up (that one's for Joe! [or maybe Ronke]).

5. And, as Dave Barry would note, I swear I am not making this up, on our very last night in Dallas, while Ronke and I watched......he rolled over. From tummy to back. Sure, it might have been a coincidence. The stars may have aligned just perfectly while the earth was shaking or something, but whatever the circumstances, at one point my son was pushing himself up with his hands and then launched himself onto his back. At five weeks. He hasn't had a repeat performance, but now I know that it's possible. So possible that he should not be left alone on any surface other than the floor. So possible that I am breaking the rules of safety to let him sleep the way he wants to.

6. The pack and play is big and open and the sheets are very snug and I cannot imagine how he could suffocate himself in that thing.

7. Grandma's got my back.

So, people, if you disagree with my decision, don't tell me. I didn't post this to get your advice. It still makes me a little nervous, but we all grew up that way and we are here. Back when the conventional wisdom was the opposite of today's albeit more informed ways, most kids still were fine. And I am praying that Gideon will be fine too. So for all of you who desperately want to post statistics about SIDS, just pray for him instead. It will have more of an impact and will keep me from loosing my mind with worry.

(Don't forget about that contest, peeps.)

Two for the Show

2007-06-13T14:11:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was hard. There was a parade of friends and many tearful goodbyes. Lots of promises to keep in touch and reminders of plans already made for camping and Fogo and A&M at NE and piggybacking off of work trips; all of which better happen or I will be incredibly sad. When the day was done and night was starting to leave too, I finally lay down and slept.

I didn't sleep well. Instead I dreamed of scenarios where I left the stroller in the car or got yelled at by TSA agents or overslept and missed my flight. When Gideon woke up at 2:30 I was sure that last one had come true, but I was fine, of course, and nodded back off until my phone buzzed at 4:30 on the nose.

By 6:30 we were out the door. Following a quick Starbucks run (we figured we'd better use that gift card while we were still in the Big D because Scooters holds our hearts in Omaha). I videoed us leaving and intended to video again once we got to the airport, but by then the stress of the day had woven knots into my belly and my temple was starting to pound. The two checked bags weighed in at 45lbs and 47lbs. (That was some killer packing, Kim!) Thank you.

Jud lugged them both over to the checked luggage area where they confirmed in record time that I did not have explosives, weapons, woodland creatures or a kidney stowed in either bag. Nope. Just the base of a car seat, the boppy, baby wipes, all of the clothes that currently fit me, all of the clothes that currently fit Gideon and toiletries that were destined to leak everywhere.

Off we went to the security line where Gideon was extracted from the car seat and inserted into the Hotsling. Jud kissed us both and sent us off to make it through the bizarre world where the TSA rule. Two fellow travelers helped me with the stroller and the car seat while I removed my shoes and grabbed the bag that held all of the gels, liquids and creams I remembered to remove from the diaper bag. One of the TSA/SS agents was all up in my grill about if I'd removed all of aforementioned potential contraband. I thought I had, but did you know that the baby's butt cream should be included in that little ziploc? Yeah. I forgot.

Off to the secondary screening line, but at least allowed to wear my shoes, the new TSA agent did the worst possible bag examination I could imagine (possibly because he realizes that frazzled new moms don't have time to think of terror plots, unless you count diaper eruptions at thirty thousand feet, colic in confined spaces or babies that refuse to eat while ascending and then have eardrums that split wide open. If that counts, than they'd better start stopping every woman with a diaper bag, for terror is all she knows).

Once all the way through security, following a short bathroom break, I stopped at the counter of gate 39 and asked for some help loading the car seat/stroller combo. They helped. Eventually, we boarded. All the while, Gideon slept (and I thanked God for all of your prayers on our behalf).

I sat down in my window seat right next to the engine and prayed that no one would sit next to me. They didn't. As we pulled away from the gate, Gideon stirred, filled his diaper and ate. He ate until we reached altitude and slept the rest of the way. It's a good thing he doesn't care that much about poopy diapers because I waited until we'd landed in Omaha to change him.

Just as some sweet older ladies were helping me with the stroller, Poppi appeared and saved the day. Gideon was crying by this point and as soon as Poppi snuggled him, he was fine. Bags loaded in the car and the car seat securely fastened, we took off for Bellevue to see Grandma. She paraded the baby all around the bank (it's not a bank! I know, but it's just easier) and he got in a little snack there too.

Back to the house and more time to eat. We ate and then talked with Rebecca and Sarah. Poppi came home from work and we drove him back to Eppley. Now he's in Dallas and we are here, relaxing in the central air, lounging in the leather chair and I'm propping my feet up on a dachshund. Gideon? He's with Grandma.

Closing Down the Shop

2007-06-06T17:14:00.000-05:00

We are one week away from my departure to Omaha. By this time next week, I'll be at my parent's place and my dad will be in the air to Dallas. I'm going to fly up with Gideon while Jud and my dad will drive the van and cars up on Thursday (pray that he is a good little traveler).

In the meantime, we are packing.

Jud has done the bulk of the packing, but I am helping out as best as I can. Maybe that's an overstatement. I could probably be helping more, but I think I get some sort of a pass for doing it with a baby attached to me. Right?

Packing up your house is the best way to realize that while you thought you were pretty good at keeping house, you are terrible at dusting. There is dust everywhere...behind all those books that were on the shelves, under the Xbox and covering those candles in the bathroom. Bathrooms are notoriously dusty and I guess it's because of the toilet paper. I especially hate the dust that sits on top of the toilet paper holders. It may be my mission in life to clean those two little pieces of metal or porcelain because I find it incredibly satisfying to wipe them clean.

Jud has Gideon right now, as I've had him all day and it has been a strange one for him. He didn't eat well this morning and then hasn't slept well either. It would make me fussy too. Right now I'm pinning my hopes on what everyone says about how babies change a ton during the 6-7 week time frame. It's not that he's a bad baby or that he cries all the time because neither of these things are true. I'm just hoping for more normalcy, a good routine and the ability to be more productive. Since his 6th week coincides with the move to Omaha, I have pinned a lot of hope on our move. Maybe you have too.

Bonus: When no one else can soothe him, the light can almost always talk him down.

THREE

2007-05-31T14:02:00.000-05:00

Do you know where you were three years ago? I was walking down an aisle and hoping that the person waiting way down there was going to be just who I thought he was. I was wrong, of course, because there is so much more to him than what I knew then. I didn't know how much he would do to make sure I am happy. I didn't know how hard he would work to gain knowledge or how wise he could be to know when something should end. I didn't know how much fun we'd have just sitting around together and I had no idea he could make babies this cute.

You never really believe people when they tell you that you'll love each other more as the years go by, mostly because you can't imagine loving someone more than you do at that moment, but the people are right. I love him more today than I did three years ago and I'm sure three years from now it will have increased exponentially.

A very wise woman once told me that marriage is about dying to self. She was 100 percent correct. Jud and I haven't had the perfect marriage, but it's really not far off. As we both let go of our own wants and even our needs and embraced what the other person wants and needs, we've experienced tremendous joy and fulfillment.

Happy Anniversary, Babe.

Memorial Day Miracle

2007-05-30T14:43:00.000-05:00

On Sunday night Jud checked his voicemail and found out that Sam & Tawnya were flying through Dallas. After some coaxing, he convinced me that we should drive to the airport, just in case they had some extra time and we could all chat at DFW.

We were all glad that Jud has lots of hope because their plane was late getting in to Dallas and they missed their connecting flight.

It was a Memorial Day Miracle!

Birth Story

2007-05-27T15:35:00.000-05:00

Disclaimer: For our male readers, or those who may be squeamish, you may want to just skip over this entry. It will include a graphic, but hopefully comedic look at childbirth. You've been warned.

On Wednesday, May 3, I left work early to once again go to the OB. We were anxious to hear if there had been any progress in cervical dilation and had fairly high hopes for it. Once we got in there and the good doctor started feeling around, we were a little disappointed. I was still at just one centimeter dilated but was then almost completely effaced. So he did what any good OB would do. He stripped my membranes (aka awesome-happy-fun-time). The last time he'd done that, I'd gone to work the next day and thought I was going into labor around noon. This time, I wasn't so sure that I'd go to work the next day. I also wasn't so sure that the pain of having my membranes stripped was going to amount to anything, which is why we agreed to be induced the next week if the baby didn't come on his own.

We left the doctor's office and went to Matt's...the delicious Tex Mex place that's just down the street from us. We'd joked a bit with the OB about things that make babies come and spicy food made that list. We thought we'd go all cliche and eat some of the hot salsa that they serve with their homemade chips. We got the fajitas, like we always do, and kidded each other about this being our last meal out without a kid.

When we got home we chatted with the neighbors for a bit and I gave one of them some hair product advice. When I went back inside I went to the bathroom and found blood in my underwear. I made Jud go get one of our other neighbors who's a nurse and talked to her through the bathroom door about the blood. She agreed that it was probably just from the membrane strip but told me that it could be a good sign of progress. I didn't get my hopes up. But I did put on an adult diaper just in case my water were to break overnight (Jud was fairly concerned about ruining a mattress with amniotic fluid, and I wasn't exactly excited about things getting messy, so when our nurse neighbor suggested Depends for postpartum, we thought it might also help out up front too. Extra bonus points to Jud for purchasing the Depends, size small, without me present).

We spent that evening taking pictures of ourselves and recording a video for posterity. When we went to bed, I had Jud set the alarm as if I was going to work the next day, but when it went off about 5am, I got up and felt really exhausted, a little sick to my stomach and really crampy. I went back to sleep and eventually moved to sleeping down on the sofa. Jud brought me the phone about 11:30 since the number was from my office. I didn't wake up in time to answer it, but I called back almost right away and jumped onto a call with my boss and my replacement. Just as we were about to get down to business, I stood up and felt a gush of water and shouted "Oh my gosh, I think my water just broke!" They both started yelling at me to go to the hospital. I hung up the phone and went into the bathroom. Since the Depends had soaked up all the fluid, I wasn't sure what had happened.

I went upstairs to tell Jud that I thought my water broke and he was all "well, did it or didn't it?". I wasn't sure. So I stood over the toilet for a little bit and sure enough water was dripping out of me. Jud called the doctor's office while I jumped into the shower. The nurse told him that we should go to the hospital right then, but I figured we had some time, so we got some stuff done around our place...the dreaded dishes, car cleaned out, lunch prepared and eaten. We grabbed our bags, got in the car and drove the five minutes to the hospital.

While making our way to the parking garage, we got caught in a bizarre traffic jam involving a truck with large metal poles sticking off the back of it, and SUV that ran over traffic cones and curbs to get out of the mess and one man who should not be allowed to direct traffic. While waiting for people to figure out the traffic jigsaw, my phone rang. The nurse from the doctor's office was all "Where are you?" and I was all "Outside. Coming soon!"

We finally parked and walked into L&D (after some effort to find the right door). Once inside the women at the counter did not think I was at all in labor (and I sort of wasn't). They were going to do a swab to make sure my water had really broken, but I told them that I was on my third Depends now, so I was pretty sure the seal had been tampered with. They aborted the initial swab and just took us to our room.

We met the cutest, best nurse ever named Charlotte, who was great. She got everything entered and prepared and then sentenced me to walking. The contractions were sporadic and not especially strong and I was still only 1cm dilated.

Two hours of walking circles through Labor and Delivery only increased the intensity, but not by much. I was still laughing and joking about running laps instead of walking them. By then it was dinner time and it was time to stop messing around and force those contractions to get busy. Charlotte hooked up the IV and got the Pitocin dripping. I'm not sure exactly when, but somewhere around this time, Jenn and Zanna showed up...with magazines and smiles and cameras and hope. We all watched the computer screen chart out the contractions in humps and bumps. Eventually I started having to focus when they came to keep breathing. When the pain graduated to ugly, Jenn and Zanna left the room and Jud held my left hand and looked a little worried. He fed me ice and I tried to not give in to the dark side.

By this point, Charlotte's shift had ended and LaToya was on. She was great too, but just a little less involved with us. She offered a non-epidurial pain med and I took it, but I shouldn't have. It didn't stop the contraction pain but it did make me feel like I was drunk...tired and a little out of control. Jud took a video of me in the state and I am slurring my words and oddly smilely. The contractions kept coming, harder and harder and then I started shaking. Violent shakes that I couldn't control. I hated them. I couldn't focus any more. I was still only 1 cm dilated and losing hope. I asked for the epidural.

A little Indian (dots not feathers) man trotted in stoically as I slouched over a pillow and held onto Jud. Cold scraping on my back and cramps running through my legs and a little more shaking while trying to stay still and then.....bliss. I could still feel my belly constricting, but without the pain and without the shaking. Jenn and Zanna came back in. We watched the Mavs game. I was 5cm dilated.

After the game was over and a little more time had passed when I tried unsuccessfully to sleep on my back (no rolling over with tubes shoved inside your spine), LaToya came back in and checked. 10cm! Victory! She called the doc. I tried to not be tired. Jenn and Zanna went back to the very cold waiting room.

LaToya took the bottom half of the bed off so that we could get ready for pushing and some other nurses and techs came in and out bringing in tools and blankets and things. She showed Jud how to hold my leg up and then took the other one in her hands and said I should push for the next contraction to practice. That pushing to get a baby out is just like pushing during a bowel movement. And that's when I remembered that everybody poops. Well, just about everybody poops during labor. I did NOT want to poop. But I did want that baby, so I guess I might have to poop in front of people who are strangers (not as bad, since you don't really hang out with them) and my husband (pretty bad, considering he's already seeing all that other stuff expand and stretch and who knows what that's going to do to his mind). So I started pushing and LaToya told me to stop because she "doesn't make enough money to do this part."

In came the doctor and I apologized for disturbing her sleep, but she's 32 weeks pregnant, so sleep isn't really something she does much of these days. She checked me out and told me to get ready to push on the next contraction. Fifteen minutes of pushing later and I heard his little cry for the very first time. It was the best sound I've ever heard. And then he was on me, crying and squirming and angry and confused. Jud cut the cord and then took video and still shots of him while he was getting checked out. You can hear me in the background talking with the doctor as they stitch me up (just one!) and then pretty soon he was back in my arms and he got to meet Aunt Jenn and Aunt Zanna.

Once we were all on our way to our post partum room, the crazy tired kicked in and I barely remember what happened while our nurse (and neighbor) explained all of the hospital stuff. She checked my bottom and proclaimed the lack of hemorrhoids 'great!' and then told me that lots of people have them "the size of grapes". One stitch and no grapes did not make potty time any happier the next day, but I suppose it would've been much more painful to sit in that hospital bed if things had gone differently.

We spent the next two days with lots of visitors and plenty of time to look at the incredible little baby who had changed us from husband and wife to dad and mom.

He slept and he ate and he got lots of cuddles and sweet words from his mom and dad. He's more than we expected; more beautiful, more fun, more boy, more baby, more smiles and more love. We couldn't be happier.

Newer Pictures

2007-05-25T08:57:00.000-05:00

He's pretty much sleeping in all of these pictures but you can get the picture of how much he has already grown.

And while I'm putting an update on the blog, we also want to find out who sent us the Frog Pod bath toy scooper. It seems that our order was mixed up with someone elses who also ordered this from the Target gift registry. So, we got their frog pod and I'm assuming they got ours. This really isnt a big deal since we believe everyone recieved what they were sent, we just want to know who to thank.

Gideon's First Week

2007-05-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

Here is a slide show from Gideon's first week.

For more photos go to: http://picasaweb.google.com/judmackrill/

Hibernating

2007-05-16T01:36:00.000-05:00

So, as you probably guessed, we are not posting a ton right now due to the fact that things like sleeping and eating are about all I am focused on. Are we all fed? Can we all sleep now? Who is poopy? These are nearly the sum of my thoughts.

Not really, of course, because as it turns out, this baby we made is actually quite wonderful and fairly cooperative (I'm sure just typing those words will make me eat them later), so there is nothing to complain about concerning his presence or actions. He's just a normal baby with normal baby needs and one way to express himself. We love all of him and his adorable faces, strong grip and interested eyes. He's the best.

Here are some recent pictures so you won't be too disappointed with this post.

Grandma and Gideon

Dad gets his MA

I couldn't get this one to turn, but you get the idea. Bundled up in the bassinet.

I hope to be on a good schedule soon; one that will allow me to type out the birth story and let you know how this little guy came into our world. However, since doing my hair was a process that started at 10am and was not actually completed until 4pm, you can imagine that the real posts are going to be scarce for a bit. Thanks for not pressuring us to call you back, mail these thank you notes or post more frequently! All in good time.

a little something else to be proud of...

2007-05-05T23:45:00.000-05:00

With so much going on in our lives with this wonderful little person, we also wanted you to know that we are very proud of his Poppi.
Congratulations!

No way to come up with a good title for this one

2007-05-05T06:44:00.000-05:00

Gideon Charles

was born on Friday, May 4
7lbs 4oz
19.5 inches

The full birth story will come sometime soon, but in the meantime,
here are some pictures to keep you happy.

Jud and Kim, ready for Gideon to come.

Aunt Jenn, Aunt Zanna and Kim waiting for Gideon

Mom, Dad and Gideon

YawningSleeping

He's even more beautiful today. We are totally in love with him and could not imagine any of this being better than it has been. We praise God for this incredible blessing and find ourselves continually praying for our son's future. Thank you for bringing us before the throne during these past nine months; the past two days especially. We love you all.

And We're Off...

2007-05-03T13:39:00.000-05:00

My water broke about noonish today so we're headed to the hospital now. I'm not having very strong contractions yet, but he's only got 12-18 hours after water breaking to make his grand appearance. We'll keep you posted.....

The Alarm is Untrue

2007-04-28T15:44:00.000-05:00

On Thursday I went to work wearing the following:

- black dress pants with elastic waist
- button up blue dress shirt, sleeveless
- white, knit 3/4 sleeve cardigan
- trouser socks
- Danskos

By 10:30 that day I had stripped away the socks, shoes and cardigan and was still sitting in a pool of my own sweat.

Having had enough of the person who is constantly complaining that she is cold going around and moving the thermostats to whatever trips her fancy, I got the big guns involved and went over to the guy who's responsible for all things building related. I told him I was dying from the heat and that something needed to be done. Now.

He got his little laser gun thing and we went over to my cube home. He tested the air all around the cube and it was all coming back about 78-80. Then he shot the laser at Ronke and she was 80 and then Kelly was 83. But my belly? It was 91. On the outside. And also covered in beads of sweat, but the laser can't tell you that. So, he brought me a fan and I got some ice chips and sucked on them and left my shoes off too.

A wee bit later I thought I was going into labor. Strong contractions in the belly, back constrictions too, shooting pains through center of body. They all seemed in order so I went home early. They got worse and closer together until about 7pm when they just stopped. There were some contractions on Friday, but nothing to really warrant me taking the day off of work; although I did take the day off because, well, because I can.

Today there have not been any real contractions, although that awesome hot stabbing pain comes around whenever I've been standing up for a while.

I went to SuperTarget and got the last of the stuff that is necessary to bring a newborn into your home, easy to make foods for Jud for when the baby comes and I don't want to cook, and Pringles. I love Pringles and they were on sale. Who am I to argue with that? When I got home I made some Cranberry Cheesecake Bars (that's not their real name, I don't think, but they're the ones that Tesa's name is on in the latest CBC cookbook). They are super good, but they are still cooling, so it will be a while before I can enjoy them. I think they will help me to keep my mind off the fact that I am ready to have this baby but have no control over that event's arrival. Delicious fruit and cream cheese bars can take your mind off of anything.

Showers of the BehBeh Kind

2007-04-23T19:57:00.000-05:00

Yesterday our little place filled with friends and quiches and hummingbird cakes, deviled eggs, delicious sandwiches, sweet tea and new things. My living room now looks as if I robbed a Babies R Us (which was the other option to procuring all of these items until Zanna, Jenn and Gina came up with a more law abiding and delicious solution).

I thought I'd share some pictures with you and show you how amazing all of our friends are to give us things without receiving anything in return (I'm hoping that's not some sort of foreshadowing about thank you notes, but I really can't promise you anything).

Anyway, here's the shower in pictures...

These faces have graced these pages before.

(but somehow they look younger and prettier than ever before...

botox? surgery? nope. just sheer natural gorgeousness)

Sara, Hansy, Rachel and Michelle muggin for the camera.
Zanna tries to convince me to be proud of the state that will appear on the birth certificate

(and fails) but succeeds in seducing my taste buds with cake.

Jenn, Kelly, Ronke and Erin lookin fine.

Take your gigs and your hooks elsewhere!

Ronke and Kim are very smiley.

Sweet baby Hunter and his mama Carole. So cute!

And you thought all that robbing talk was hyperbole.

Check out that loot!

Prayers for the baby, me and Jud (one of my favorite parts).

Thank you to the party planners and the party people! I had a really great day with all of you and was tired in all the right ways by the end of it all. I am sad for those of you who live so far away to not get to meet all of the sweet women in these pictures. They have made my time down here so much more than bearable. They have made memories with me that will last a lifetime. I love you guys.

Pain in the Progress

2007-04-19T21:18:00.000-05:00

Weekly trips to the OB office are now a part of our lives. Wednesday is the magical trip day and while I have been trying not to notice that these visits are usually a half hour behind the regularly scheduled programming, Jud has been a bit unable to let it go. It's nice when he's time sensitive like that. Reminds me of me.

Yesterday, however, we were not our typical fifteen minutes early due, in large part, to this one woman who's up the food chain a bit from me in the office who showed up at my desk right when I was swiveling in my chair to leave. My wonderful, extra beautiful neighbor agreed to work on the project (which was apparently needing to be done NOW and not tomorrow despite the fact that we have been working on said project since August. I love how she thought the papers in her hand were on fire and we should put them out but can completely and utterly ignore every email I've sent her over the past month. Not bitter. Just tired of email constipation perpetuated by upper level management. Am letting it go now). I dropped off some paperwork with the finance people on my way out the door and then fought traffic to get home to pick up the hubs.

The hospital where the BehBeh is going to be born is downtown and as in every city, downtown parking is tricky. Park on this street for lots of quarters. Drive into this lot and pay some dollars. Park a block or two off of where you need to be and pay almost nothing. There are lots of choices and most of them involve lots of walking, something I now restrict unless the end result involves a refrigerator or a toilet. Jud dropped me off and I walked to the elevator, waited for the little ding and then watched as heavy person after heavy person piled into this same little mirrored box on a string. I started to panic ever so slightly as the doors shut and was relieved when they opened on the third floor (I only had three more to go and then I would be free of the stink and the breath and the possible free fall when the cord snapped).

The doors shut and we waited….nothing. I hit the button for six again, hoping that my sheer will would push us up the shaft, but the doors opened instead to the third floor hallway and I dashed off. I found the stairwell and hoofed the belly up three flights of stairs.

By the time I got to the office door, I was sweaty and a little out of breath, but still three minutes early. I lied on the time sheet and said I got there two minutes before then, because I didn't want to admit in writing how close I'd come to showing up at my appointment time....it would seem too much like I have adjusted to the dfw way of life....late, lazy and owing somebody something. I sat down and tried to calm my heart. Jud came in about a minute later and one minute after that the sonogram-lady appeared and took us back. I peed in the cup. She weighed me. We all went into the dark sono-room.

Crawling up onto the table and leaning all the weight of my giant belly against the major veins and arteries in my back that carry the blood where it should go made me almost immediately sick to my stomach and dizzy. I did my best to shift around and tried not to look too overwhelmed by the lack of properly moving oxygen.

And then there he was. Looking full grown and wrapped up. His head, no longer buried in my hip or the placenta, but resting instead on my pelvic bones. The placenta, comfortably out of his way. He was sucking in the fluid pretty quickly, his lips formed into a little round heart of pursing and relaxing, with one hand tucked right underneath his chin. Giant belly with a strong heartbeat and all the measurements coming out just right. He looked comfortable, but snug, squishy in his watery home but firm from the outside. It made me really anxious to meet him.

The transducer could not fully trace his form because my belly is so round that there was no way for it all to touch me and pick up a full picture. A few weeks and they change so much. Changes especially in how much he weighs and all that weight was really starting to make me light headed and that's when Jud asked if I was okay and the sono-lady probably could tell that I was not so okay and should get off my darn back. So the lights came back on and we trotted out to see the nurse.
Blood Pressure: 100/70
Weight: 152 (holy cow)
Step B test: negative
Kim: happy, but still dizzy

We waited for the OB and he came in to see how things were (and I am not making this word up in the baby terminology world because they really use it, even if it makes the lady business sound like bananas on the counter) ripening.
I'd say we're in that time when the banana is still a tiny bit green, but would still be good to go.

Dilated: 1 cm
Effaced: 80%

The OB said that I am an overachiever. Who could argue with that?

Then he said that he was touching the baby's head (obviously my water has not broken, so it's not like he was touching the baby's actual skin, but nonetheless, his head and all his violent actions say he is coming soon) and that all of that effacing business I've been doing (violent hot stabbing pains now explained) should make for a much easier labor. Said labor will probably come earlier than originally scheduled. We'll keep you posted.

(btw - we have our last set of house guests tonight and then no one is welcome to spend the night until much later, except my mom, who is not shocked by the non-bathroom-door-closing, indecent lounge wear and half nakedness that are clearly called for at this stage. on second thought, Allison, you are welcome too as somehow nine-month pregnant Kim wears about the same amount of clothing as July-heat-dime-saving-post-work-Kim with whom you were forced to share living space for a year. Neighbors - you'll have to wait for a while after knocking on the door. Everyone else - make sure you call)

Easter, Showers, Parties and Tums

2007-04-15T20:36:00.000-05:00

How many times have you checked this site and been disappointed to see that same old post?

Me too!

Anyway, the past week or so was spent preparing for things like people to replace me, seeing the doctor, pre-registering for delivery, for a friend's birthday party and not very much for supper. I do really love to cook, but lately, ever since the acid reflux induced choking began after meals, I've lost my appetite. I could seriously not eat anything until I give birth now because the pain afterwards is that off-putting.

Something I did make this week......grilled cheese and soup. Don't worry, I know better than to eat tomato based (aka acid filled) items. The soup was just for Jud, but one of those sandwiches had my name all over it.

I made some cheesecake and Rick's Recipe Salsa for Ronke's birthday party on Saturday night. She opened this gift from another friend and we all burst into laughter. It was a plaque commemorating the opening of one of the rooms of her house. It's not funny to people who don't know her and the story behind it all, so I won't try to explain, but I thought Jud did a good job capturing her anticipatory elation and that it should be shared.

I probably should have warned you about this one, but there IT is. The behbeh belly.

It is big and it is often lopsided as I'm pretty sure he thinks that he's supposed to make his grand entrance through a hole he will create somewhere on my right side, just under my lowest rib. After meals, he usually attempts to burrow his way out over there. So, yeah, he's still transverse and that's not so great in terms of him making his first appearance soon. We'll get an ultrasound on Wednesday to check out his position and see where the placenta is hanging out these days. We were there last Wednesday and I have put on a total of 26lbs, prompting congratulations from the OB (can you tell I am not going to let this go?). He also reminded us to call him if anything was feeling out of the ordinary or if there was anything we had questions about.

Then we took our paperwork and pre-registered for the upcoming hospital stay. It was a little surreal to do that, but it was good too.

In the 100% not surreal category, we celebrated Easter with fried chicken, biscuits and a very long nap. It was awesome.

Good Friday

2007-04-06T10:53:00.000-05:00

I'm off of work today and Jud is off of school. He's been working since early this morning while I kept right on sleeping. It was so great to not have to get up for anything and to not have anything pressing me to hurry up and get out the door. I got to clean the bathtub and not put on shoes yet. These are both wonderful things.

I talked with a bunch of friends this week by phone, which was really good. Some of our friends just announced that they are having baby number two and that is just fantastic news. I'm hoping it's a boy so that our little guys can have all sorts of adventures together, but I'm sure they'll be friends even if it's a girl. Some other friends are very close to a home purchase, which is a truly wonderful thing. Another set of friends has a ton of family in town this weekend from a far off magical land and they are headed to the rodeo. We've been invited to go along, but Jud is suffering from a chest/head cold that is taking a pretty good toll on him. Also, my false labor is starting to enter the 'holy cow this is painful' stage. The contractions aren't getting closer together or anything and it's all very sporadic, but when they come their power is disturbing.

Now I'm going to post pictures to distract you from the fact that this post has very little cohesion and is not very exciting. Mmkay?

Jud & Kim last Sunday (thanks Zan!)

From Jud's 25th Birthday party...I wish we still had some cake.

The shoes.

Good Day

2007-04-01T00:28:00.000-05:00

Our church is doing a weekend where we reach out to the surrounding community. Since I am very much with child, I stayed behind to pray for a few hours while Jud went out and shared the big G with people. It was a good experience for both of us. I loved the praying. He loved the talking/listening/in general being somewhere other than cooped up in this guest room/office.

In the afternoon we took a long nap and that is why I am wide awake at 12:47 am. This spells serious trouble for tomorrow, but I'm not going to think about it too much.

We had supper at Which Which? (a fabulous sandwich place where Jud can load up on the toppings and where I can keep mine to simple things like grilled onions and cheese) with my friend and her little brother. Then we went to Lush so that my friend could buy soaps and things. Then we went to Nordstroms and bought Jud some new athletic/everyday shoes (Happy Belated Birthday!).

Jud's other shoes were starting to look sad. When he first bought them, they were much beloved (even by one of his bosses at the old office who remarked on the brand) but now they are nearing homeless man stage (Allison will remember when this stage crested on a pair of flip flops that I wanted to burn but did not because Jud loved those homeless man shoes. I'm not sure when they disappeared, although it may have been somewhere around the time that I gave up all of the undergarments that I still had from junior high -- they still fit! but then I got hit by that dude in the huge truck and he smashed up my car beyond repair and I had to ride in an ambulance and the nurses got to view my very very old [were talking 10+ years, here] underthings before cath-ing me. Wow, that was a great day). Anyway, Jud now has some awesome new adidas shoes. One day I'll show them to you.

Fewer and Farther Between

2007-03-28T22:06:00.000-05:00

You poor neglected blog. I used to spend so much time with you, lovingly composing prose that would bring you readers. I would sit for hours to work on your template and think of ways to improve your appearance. Then I would add pictures and make sure you looked nice for the day. Sigh. Those days are gone.

Now I have replaced you with a swelling belly, making meals for events, designing things graphically and working at the office. These are wonderful things but they have slowly edged you out. I'm sorry, little guy. Maybe one day soon, you will once again be the apple of my eye...but I wouldn't hold my breath. There is too much of a chance that "one day soon" will be months and months away. In the meantime, I will give you snippets of all that has happened.

Jud turned the big two five last week and we had a little party that I forgot to take pictures of because I am totally forgetful of the photo-taking when there are friends around. I did make two cakes - one made of cheese and topped with cherries and the other made of spices and topped with mocha frosting. I loved them both. The spice cake is still sort of with us, but I'm making quick work of saying goodbye to it. Jud got a few presents and some cards and a lot of emails and phone calls, all of which are such nice ways for people to remember you and that is the nicest thing for your birthday, to be remembered.

We had a potluck with our neighbors last week and it went really well...lots of talking and plenty of advice for me from the L&D nurses who live next door (and from the one mama who lives here too). The best part was that the super pretty neighbor, who I believe bears a striking resemblance to that girl on Lost, only prettier, was talking about needing a new job and I was all, 'how about you come temp for me while I am gone?' And she said 'yes!' And I said 'Send your resume!' And then she did and now she is all but hired. Hoorah!

I also took a meal to our Sunday school friends who had a baby the Saturday before. He is very cute and I got some more pointers on L&D, which is fabulous.

My tooth is fixed! But I accidentally gave them the wrong insurance info. They will need the right stuff to resubmit (duh! - This is the squishy baby brain...he is sucking out all my smarts!).

We ordered an interactive dvd to learn all about 'birthin some babies' because we waited a really long time to figure out when to take a birthing class and also because they are stupid expensive. We paid a third of that cost for the dvd and then we can refer back to it whenever we'd like, possibly while in the delivery room and my brain flat lines.

We went to the doctor today and he was all 'you look great' and 'you look glowy' and I was all 'you are late' and then in a funk for a while because I am tired of showing up early and then not being seen for 45 minutes. He was all 'sickness and procedures are not always punctual' and I was all 'okay.' Inside, however, I was all 'be better at scheduling!' I was under 150 today, which means that I am fine in the weight world, and frankly, if I wasn't officially fine according to the scale, I was just going to tell the doctor that I look awesome for someone who is eight months into this process, but then he said so himself. Maybe I should dial down the crazy.

Four D not Forty

2007-03-20T18:45:00.000-05:00

Last Friday, while my parents were in town, we drove up to Frisco and got some pretty good looks at the baby. Right before we went in, my chewing gum suddenly became extra crispy and I realized that I'd lost a filling and part of a tooth. That was awesome. I forgot about my tooth pretty quickly once I crawled up on the table and the goo was on my belly.

We saw him in 2D first, and even that is pretty wonderful. He has a big belly and lots of hair and his heart beat was strong and steady. When she switched it over to the 3D/4D the placenta was kind of in the way and he buried his face in my hip, with his placenta pillow for the rest of the morning.

We went to get a bite to eat and that seemed to liven him up, so he moved out of my hip and into plain view. That's when we got the good shots.

Check him out for yourself.....

Baby leg and foot

Side view with slight distortion from movement.
2D of his profile.
All their noses look smooshed like that for some reason.

Of course, it might actually be smooshed, but it's not all that likely.

He pretty much kept his hand up by his face like that the whole time.

So that's him. That's our baby. He's still gestating, although lately he's been taking Taekwondo classes and is practicing most of his kicks on my right rib cage. It almost lost it's fun for me though. Almost.

Quick Update

2007-03-20T11:45:00.000-05:00

In the way of a quick update, I wanted to let everyone know that they can now access our baby registries by clicking on the links of the left side of the page.

Could I Just Sit for a Moment and Breathe?

2007-03-14T17:43:00.000-05:00

Life has somehow become nothing but work over the past four weeks. I am in a perpetual state of working. I work at the office. I come home and sit down at this desk and work some more. Sometimes I get up and make us something to eat. Sometimes I force my husband to grill sandwiches made of cheese. Sometimes I eat those sandwiches right here at this desk. Sometimes I work until way past my bedtime. But bedtime is no longer as wonderful as it used to be. Now it is filled with leg cramps, hip pain, acid reflux and a few trips to the bathroom. Who could look forward to that? Anyway I feel like my body will not handle much more of this constant working and interrupted sleep.

I'm cranky. I'm thirsty all the time and I don't enjoy food or sleep. I'm officially no fun and also getting worse about calling/writing people back. It's not that I don't want to talk to you, it's just that I'm exhausted and I keep thinking that I will call you right after I do this one more thing. And then I realize that I have something else to do, like mop my kitchen floor.

That floor is disgusting and needs to be mopped at least once a week. I haven't touched it in a few months now. But I'm going to do it....tomorrow, which is probably when I'll call you back.

Tournament Challenge

2007-03-13T10:01:00.000-05:00

I realize the everyone has probably already filled out about 10 of these things... However, some of you may be thinking, "What's another bracket? Sure I'll sign up." Or perhaps some of you have never done this but you may find it a great way to be interested in all the stuff your spouse or friends will be glued to for the next couple weeks. Others of you may have a lotto ticket mentality, in which case another bracket will only further your chances of being a winner and dawning the title of "Champion." To sign up for my "Tournament Challenge" go here and register for the bracket. You will need to have the following information:

Group ID#: 10146
Password: password

We'll announce the winner of the bracket challenge when all games conclude. Once you fill out your bracket, you may want a copy to print out and keep track of your brackets. A printable copy of the bracket is available here. If you have any questions, send me an email.

Per Kit's Request

2007-03-10T11:25:00.000-06:00

We live in Texas, the land of big things and one of the most Republican bastions of the US. If I lean in any direction politically, it's to the right, and thus I often find myself agreeing with the views of Texans, albeit with some degree of discomfort, given their twang and unshaking belief in their correctness. Back when we voted for the governor in November, though, I just could not bring myself to push the button for Rick Perry. He ran as a Republican, but I think he gives them all a bad name. He's soft on border patrol. He's not lowering taxes, in spite of a giant surplus of money. He's in too tight with the teacher's union, if you ask me. And then there was Gardasil.

Gardasil is the vaccine for 4 strands of HPV. HPV is the Human Papillomavirus. If you've ever had a wart, anywhere on your body, then you've been infected with HPV. Although, many times people who have the virus will have no symptoms and will simply carry it until their body recognizes the virus as a foreign threat and kills it off.

Just like every virus, including the common cold, there is no cure for HPV. This is due, in large part, to the fact that viruses mutate easily and are quick to adapt to treatments. You can catch this virus by coming in direct contact with it through skin to skin contact (from yourself or someone else), or even by touching objects that have the virus on them.

Symptoms of viruses, however, can be managed and in most cases of HPV, warts are simply frozen or lasered off of the skin. Warts in the private parts, given their delicate environment, are less likely to be treated by such 'radical' means and are most commonly treated with Aldara, a topical cream made by 3M that was approved by the FDA in 1997. Aldara remains the only topical treatment for HPV and, without insurance, the average month’s supply of the cream will cost the consumer around $200.

Until recently, 3M cornered the market for those with HPV infections of their delicates. They had the only treatment. But while 3M had been getting fat off of management of the virus, Merck was assisting researchers in how to vaccinate against it. The FDA approved the vaccine in June of 2006. It covers the four major strains of the virus, two of which cause as estimated 90% of all outbreaks. Essentially, the vaccine has virus-like particles that lack the viral component. Once injected, they trigger the body to create antibodies against their particles, thus building an immunity to the virus. The vaccine is administered in separate shots over the course of three visits.

By no means does this vaccine announce the end of HPV. There are still many more strains that the vaccine does not cover, but it does prevent against the most commonly destructive strains. What kind of destruction are we talking? Cancer. The Big Double C, really. Cervical Cancer. In almost all cases, women who develop cervical cancer have HPV.

It's estimated that 270,000 women die each year from cervical cancer. And while; according to the American Cancer Society, only 3700 of those women are inside the United States, it is still a gigantic number of women in our country whose lives could have been saved by the vaccine.

Now comes the touchy part. What about you? What about your daughter? What about your friends? I've been talking with friends about the vaccine and asking them if they are going to get it. So far, the reactions are pretty much the same. They smile and say 'no' because no one believes that they are at risk. One in four American women has HPV. One in four. Not to mention all of the men who are carrying it. Even if you are not, how should I say this, 'putting yourself out there' you might end up with someone who has been, and so might your daughter.

Oh, the daughters. This is where Rick Perry comes in again. He gave an executive order last month declaring that starting in 2008 all sixth grade girls have to get the vaccine as part of the required shots to attend school. And the Texans went crazy. Rightfully so.

Even though I am totally 100% behind the vaccine and will get it myself, I don't think the government should be telling people what do when it comes to their own healthcare decisions. I don't think any vaccines should be mandatory. I also think people who own restaurants should be allowed to decide if people can smoke in the building that they own, in spite of the fact that I love smoke-free restaurants. LOVE.THEM. But if a restaurant is smoky, I should just vote with my feet and not go there. I don't think the government should be allowed to tell private citizens how to run their private businesses and even more so their private bodies.

Of course, in Texas, you can opt out of the vaccinations - all of the vaccinations - for your children. You can send them to school here completely unvaccinated if you so choose, even with the Executive Order. But that's not good enough for, and please forgive me, the crazy Christians and Religious Right, who are shouting around about abstinence. We know already. We get it that people shouldn't have sex before they're married so that disease won't spread. We know condoms aren't fool proof (certainly not with HPV, because they don't cover all the parts that need covering), and we know that you think vaccinating our girls is giving them signed papers to be promiscuous.

But reality is that 3700 families would give anything to get one more day with a woman that they loved. A woman who may have made a bad choice at a party in college. A woman who may have been raped by someone with the disease. A woman who may have done everything right on her own; who has been a church-going, God-fearing person her entire life and then married a man who just recently became a Christian, but whose life before that was far from 'clean'.

It's not just about our daughters making right decisions now. It's also about their future. And even though I totally disagree with Rick Perry's order to mess about in our healthcare choices, I'd like to believe that he sees the issue the same way. That he isn't just signing orders because of the campaign checks he's received from people at Merck.

I'll never know his intentions, but I'm not all that concerned with them either. I'm concerned about you, about your daughter and about women globally whose lives can be extended by a simple vaccine.

What Is there to Say?

2007-03-04T21:28:00.000-06:00

So, I haven't much to say these days. The past week was really busy and many of you may have received some of the work I was doing via email. If you don't know that of which I'm speaking, I would tell you in a less conspicuous place than this, or at least a place where google would not reach. I'm not into outing the places that employ me here, so that's why I'm all G-14 classified (to break out the old college lingo). There's nothing terribly exciting about it, just some basic design work, but it was nice to finally get it out and complete the project.

Meanwhile my full time job is totally time consuming and more than a little overwhelming to third trimester Kim. I'm struggling to stay focused there as it is, but when my inbox fills up faster than I can even think of responding, it just takes all the wind out of my sails and my mind starts to wander towards my bed and all of those delicious blankets and pillows.

I'm feeling fine, except that I'm tired again and my skin itches and burns in certain spots in spite of all the lotions I'm smearing on it and the leg cramps that steal my sleep, and the back pain, and the heaviness of my giant stomach, and all the violent ninja moves this kid is pulling. Of course, I'm glad for all of this because in the end it just means that it will completely remove the fear of pushing a kid out of my body. I'll just want all of the discomfort to stop enough that I'll go through a bunch of terrible things to make it all go away to 'get this kid out of me' (which I plan to proclaim at least once in mid-may).

That's enough baby talk. I think I should tell you about other things...but I'm tired and those blankets are calling to me.

I'll try to find the time this week to review James Cameron's attempt to, once again, become the king of the world, the unredemptive and boring work that is Music & Lyrics and maybe even the cervical cancer vaccine (those were the the things I wanted to tell you about, but am too lazy to form intelligent words around right now). Um, don't hold your breath.

It grows

2007-02-25T22:14:00.000-06:00

Look Mom! Here's my belly.

Not to Do

2007-02-25T16:11:00.000-06:00

Things I should not have done in the past 24 hours

Had 4 iced teas at Macaroni Grill

Attempted to insert an image I created in Illustrator into an InDesign file over and over again in spite of the fact that it kept inverting the colors every time I placed it

Given God a 'one last chance' prayer about said jpeg

Forgot to sing His praises when the file came through with the correct coloring

Stayed awake until 2am to finish something that most people will not look at until Tuesday

Eaten creamy pasta sauces and expected not to reflux it into my throat all night

Mentioned that I need a maid during Sunday school, thereby guilting my husband into doing the dishes, albeit unintentionally on my part

Felt guilty that my husband did the dishes

Eaten a bunch of spicy salsa at lunch

Ignored editing a spreadsheet that I need to finish before 7am tomorrow

Not uploaded the new belly pictures Jud took of me yesterday (Sorry, mom!)

Maybe I'll go correct some of these now. Or maybe I'll go watch all of that awesome pre-Oscar coverage. I wonder what Julia Roberts will wear tonight. I wonder how many colonics have been performed in Hollywood over the past forty eight hours. I wonder why America is falling apart.

Glucose, Orange Drink and the Like

2007-02-21T20:57:00.000-06:00

On Tuesday I was late for work due to the lovely glucose screening I needed to complete at the OB doc. I fasted in the morning, which is a feat for non-pregnant Kim, much less the one with the baby freaking out as her stomach rumbles and drove over to the hospital by myself. It was sprinkling while I drove and I just couldn't help but get nervous about all of those rain drops and my freshly straightened hair, or maybe I was just shaky from low blood sugar. Hard to say.

I arrived early, as usual, and made a few phone calls to pass the time. When the office finally opened, I signed in and waited for them to call my name. Instead of calling me back, they just brought me a little orange drink and told me I had five minutes. You usually get handed empty containers and are told to fill them, so this was a nice change of pace. A bunch of people had been telling me stories about how terrible this drink was and I'd believed them. I shouldn't have. It tasted almost exactly like orange pop, the kind you left out on the counter for about a week and has almost gone flat. You wouldn't throw it out or anything, but you might not offer it to guests either, at least, not without some kind of caveat.

I downed the stuff in about a minute and kept reading magazines about how to throw the perfect party for baby's first birthday (in case you were wondering, I will most likely do none of those things, given the fact that the baby will not remember any of it and he will just be over stimulated by all of that mess. Whatever happened to baking a cake and just having a few adults over to watch the kid enjoy frosting for the very first time?).

The nice nurse came and got me, took my blood pressure (110/70) and then took me to the dreaded scale. Survey Says? Three pound loss.

Next she took me into a room and had me wait for the doctor. In he came, glasses on his head and my chart in hand. He checked the gestation wheel and pronounced me in the 28 week, which I had not forgotten. Then he reviewed my vitals and looked stopped when he got to my weight.

The next minute or so I sat in bemused silence as he explained to me that I should not be losing weight while pregnant, that the baby is still putting on vital fat and that our brains especially need it. When he was done, and I was feeling high and mighty for having beaten the weight gain at its own game, I reminded him that I usually weigh in the afternoon, having eaten most of the food I will consume for the entire day and about three and a half liters of liquid. The morning weight measurement was totally invalid and not really a measurement of anything. Take that, doctor smarty pants.

Today the nice nurse called me at my desk, while I was in the middle of attempting to catch up on my overdue emails that are still hanging out there from last week (I may never get ahead at this point and I am not kidding), and told me that not only do I process sugar properly, I am iron rich and gorgeous. Well, maybe not that last part, but you know how I love to embellish.

Happy Hallmark Day!

2007-02-14T08:45:00.000-06:00

So today is Valentine's Day and I'm guessing you probably purchased something red or pink or made something with those colors. That was awfully nice of you. You are just like me and totally buy into the holiday that was created for Hallmark.

I stopped in there the other day and the place was hopping. Tons of people crowded around the cards and trying to select the one that says just what they want it to..."I sort of like you, but if someone else came along, that would be okay too" or "We used to love each other and then you had that gastric bypass surgery and now I sort of loathe you for all the attention you get" or "You have no idea how I feel about you, but I'm sure that restraining order was just your way of playing hard to get".

I found one that said enough of what I wanted it to say "I'm living in the kind of marriage everybody wishes they had and I can't believe how amazing it is. They should be jealous because you really are that awesome" and then I added my own little personal note, of course.

We had no idea how Happy we'd be Today back Then

Although, writing the note took some effort because it's one of those cards with the velum/clear plastic so they used this thick, treated paper inside that forced me to press down really hard and make indentations in it before the ink would come out. I guess they figured the card said enough and a simple "Love, me" would suffice, but that is the worst way to give a card.

I never understand why we get Christmas cards and birthday cards from people who just sign their names (this is the part where I offend all of them and they never send me a card ever again, to which I say both 'sorry!' and 'I won't really miss your impersonalized sentiments because I never remembered that you sent them anyway.' I should note that the only people who can get away with this are the elderly. My grandmother almost never wrote personal notes in her cards when her eyesight was good and her hands didn't shake, but now that both of those things have been worn away by the tide of years, I couldn't imagine her painstakingly forming all those letters to write a note. She is given a full reprieve, but all others who are able bodied and of sound mind should really just take a minute to find a kind word to say. It's not that hard. Is it?

aaaaahhhh...FREAK OUT!

2007-02-09T14:39:00.000-06:00

Leaving work early for a doctor's appointment isn't usually exciting, but when you're headed to the behbeh doctor, it's actually pretty nice. Traffic was nice and light and Jud got back from class just a little bit before I drove up. Everything was running very smoothly.

We were 15 minutes early for the appointment (even after no longer being a military dependant for the past five years, I still can't shake the early arrival to the doctor (What if they bump my appointment!?!). Then we waited. And waited. And waited until I thought I might loose my stuff. We finally saw the doctor forty-five minutes after our scheduled appointment. Awesome!

I have loved this doctor since before he removed the cancer and told me not to get pregnant right away and then I didn't listen and all of that. He is nice. He is reassuring. He is kind of Dave Ramsey-ish. But he set me off on Tuesday. Set.me.off. Not at first though. At first I was just sad.

He was looking over my chart and noticed that I have gained a total of 24lbs (for those of you not aware of the standards of body expansion during gestation, you are only 'supposed to' put on 30lbs total and that is a maximum. This is my 26th week, so that would only leave six more pounds for the last 14 weeks, meaning that I will obviously surpass that amount and be monumentally over the amount if I continue on this gaining trend (I'd be 15lbs above the maximum at a whopping 45 pregnancy pounds, bringing my weight to a grand total of....wait for it...169lbs. I can't imagine that my body would even hold up under that kind of weight, but I suppose it could).

He was all "You put on 12 lbs in 4 weeks" and I was all "Oh, no I didn't. You people didn't weigh me last time I was here. I put on 12 lbs in 8 weeks (this is still a half pound more than is recommended, but I needed to make the distinction). " Then he lectured me about watching what I eat.

Here's the deal. I do. I have not gone crazy. I do not stuff my face with sweets. I do not eat until overwhelming full. For the most part, I make pretty good decisions. He (and maybe now you too) didn't believe me. But here's the thing, before I got pregnant I worked out. A lot. A whole lot, considering that I'm an American. I was easily burning 3000 calories a week at the gym. Easily. Guess what? I don't do that now because my heart rate isn't supposed to go above 140 and frankly, walking at the gym seems like a gigantic waste of time. Want to know why? Because in order to burn 100 calories I have to walk 5 miles. FIVE. FIVE MILES for 100 calories. That's why I don't go to the gym and walk to "stay in shape" by walking. I don't believe that it even helps. Thank you, unhelpful doctor, for suggesting I start walking for a half hour per day, as if that's going to be some sort of magic. It's not.

But like I said. I didn't get this angry at first. At first I just got sad. More than sad. Crazy, ninth grade, counting calories obsessed sad. And then I got hungry. Really hungry. Low blood sugar + baby hormones making me weep and wale. It was horrible and ugly and I felt both of those things.

And then I got a grip. Sort of. And got angry. Angry that my doctor didn't ask me a bunch of questions about why I thought my weight had sky rocketed versus just making assumptions about how I must be using donuts, smothered in ice cream as a dip for my french fries and chips. I'm not. And accusations to that end only make me neurotic and cranky and depressed. So, Doctor whom I used to rave about, but for which I now harbor resentment, shut your pie hole.

The BehBeh's Room

2007-02-04T16:32:00.000-06:00

So, you know how I was talking about baby stuff once and was all 'give me ideas' and 'will register soon.' Yeah, so, even though you kept up your end of the bargain, I have yet to register for anything.

Yesterday, my boss asked me (again) if I'd bothered to haul my increasingly large rear end off the sofa and into a baby store to scan items with the gun. I told her I hadn't and that registering is starting to stress me out. She just laughed and told me to go do it. She's right.

Reasons I've been Clinging to for Ignoring the Fact that I need to Register
1. lazy
2. tired
3. our SuperTarget is ghetto and overcrowded which makes me feel crazy (and Jud more so)
4. registering somewhere requires me to leave my home, the home I spend all day wishing I was in
5. Lost Season 2
6. Jud writes these silly things for school called 'papers' that take a bunch of time
7. i haven't read "Baby Bargains" yet

I could probably think of more, but these should work, right?

On the upside of this mess, I did spend a bunch of time looking at baby junk webstores (including the ridiculous ones, like Petit Tresor and the ones for us common folk, like Ikea). Through the searching and the clicking and the linking and all, I think I've settled on the way I'd like his room to look....someday. When we buy stuff for it. When we have a room for him. When we are homeowners and could put up Wayne's coating without flushing away a deposit.

This rug is the inspiration (I like the colors, navy, white and Ikea green).

Here's the room I kind of liked, minus all the nautical garbage. I like the colors and the cleanliness and the understated baby-ness.

This rattle has similar colors and I like the fun light blue as an accent color.

Today we go in for another doctor's visit where I plan to demand to know the progress of the placenta and also if the tealeaves say I should board a plane for Atlanta next week. After the appointment, Jud is planning to whisk me away to the land of registries and I will do my best not to be grumpy or burst into tears about hating how children are exploited by the marketing masterminds who plaster images of cartoons on sheets and toys and clothing to make the children crave for more. All of those poor children, little billboards for Disney and Dora! Why can't the children be fed healthy doses of Matisse or Monet? (I already know why, so no preachy comments about how I'm one of those people who's judgmental before they have their own kids. I already know I'm judgmental. I don't need to hear it from you). I'm going to have to give in to Baby Einstein and Barney soon. I just know I'm not ready yet.

Your Vote Counts

2007-01-29T09:43:00.000-06:00

Okay, I am in need of your opinion concerning an ongoing discussion I have with regard to an answer used in the game Scattergories. Hopefully most of you know the premise of the game but if not go here. Seeing an opportunity to score a quick four points with the letter being "P" under the category "Bad Habits", I quickly realized that picking pecks of pickled peppers can become a bad habit. And since I was shot down by the parties playing against me (emphasis on against), I thought this may be a good place to voice my case. So, all you need to do is vote in the poll listed below. You can also feel free to state your opinion in the comments area.

As of Saturday

2007-01-23T12:26:00.000-06:00

So, I met Zanna, Jenn and Gina for lunch on Saturday at this awesome salad place and we spent about four hours just chatting the afternoon away while it poured rain outside. Before I left for my lunch date, I attempted to take some belly shots in our downstairs bathroom (the one that I'm pretty sure used to be a closet, but since our landlord rigged up some piping and stuck a toilet in there, it's for sure a bathroom. I suppose water closet makes more sense. It's also the bathroom where the neighbors can listen to you pee unless you turn on the melodramatically loud exhaust fan. I'm not so sure that the fan circulates any air, but I am sure that it covers up the sound of urinating, which is very good). Anyway, here's the belly shots:

The Greater Good

2007-01-18T18:54:00.000-06:00

So, um, we've sort of been watching Lost, Season 1 as much as humanly possible over the past week. We've only got three episodes left now. We're watching the fourth from the end right now...the one where you learn about Sayed and the baby's just been born and Boone just died and Locke shows Sayed the plane but lies about the hatch.

People, this show is in my head. I dreamed about it. I thought about it while suffering through some sort of internet-circuit-robot issue at work that made the web pages load after ten minutes of building. I thought about it on my drive home from work. And now I am watching it again.

[The key is missing now and Shannon's lost her mind. Oh man, I am completely loosing my cool over this one. Sayed is all pretending to be a suicide bomber, so it's a little 24 meets Lost, which makes this especially stressful.]

So, our friend who loaned us the dvds has Season 2, but we're going to need to take a few weeks to breath and get some work done before we get them from him.

I don't know if we can wait that long, but I know our real lives need us to.

Ice Day

2007-01-15T09:30:00.000-06:00

Today is an ice day and everything is cancelled. Given the fact that it's MLK Day, I think this is just God's way of reprimanding everyone who was ignoring the holiday.

[SPOILER ALERT]
Of course, one of the big reasons Jud is celebrating the day off is because there are two more hours of Jack to watch tonight and otherwise he would've had to be in class, missing all of the Bauer Power. Speaking of 24, what did you think of the first two hours of the premiere?.......Mhmm.....Mhmm. Well, I thought the first hour could've used a little more action, although I suppose I have to give Jack a little time to get his full-on kill powers back. I did note that the "Sacrificial Jack" (whom I may have referred to as "Jesus-Jack" last night [And yes, I fully recognize the blaspheme that's involved with that]) made a rather quick jump to "Vampire Jack". We we're pretty impressed with what Jud described as Jack's "best kill ever."

In keeping with the tv theme, you should know that I am now watching A Baby Story and totally freaking myself out. This woman just got a police escort to the hospital as her husband was already running red lights and she was shrieking to all heck. Granted, it was her sixth kid, but the baby all but shot out of her, nearly in the car. Even after the kid was there, the husband couldn't help but reliving his awesome driving skills and how he flagged down a cop to get them to the hospital in time. I think he may have been more impressed with his driving than the new baby.

Watching them trot out to the car made me feel panicky about having a hospital bag and wonder what to include and all of that. Good thing we are still a few months away from that mess, especially since we still need to get out and register for all that baby junk.

We were going to do it on Saturday but the rain and the cold and the fact that I have to pee every ten seconds made our one outing a little stressful. I wasn't going to tell you about it because I didn't want to admit that I was returning one of my Christmas gifts that didn't fit, but the story is too good to pass up, so here it is, in all of it's glory.

We walked into this Baby Momma store and stood behind two other women who were returning items. There were two women working behind the counter, but only one of them was actually helping customers. The other one was just standing around. This wasn't too frustrating, but it was a little warm in the store, so I knew the longer we stood there the hotter we would get. We passed the time by looking around (from our place in line) at other things we could purchase instead, since we had the gift receipt, which explicitly said you could only receive an in-store credit.

When it was finally our turn at the counter, I put the item on the counter and handed her the gift receipt. She asked me if I wanted an in-store credit, to which I replied, "Isn't that all you can give me?"

She nodded her head and said, "Yes."

"Well, if that's my only option, then, yes, I'll take that option." I shot Jud one of those 'get a load of this brilliance' looks.

Next, she asked me why I was returning them and I told her. She stared at me, like part of my face had been ripped off in a horrible accident, and granted, I'd been blunt, but it's not like I'd been grotesque. I offered a little more explanation, in less blunt terms, and she went back to her computer screen.

Then she asked me for my phone number. I gave her a false one (because I always give clerks the wrong information when they ask for my personal information. They have no need to know this information and I'm not going to just give it out for no reason). Next she asked for my zip code and I gave her false information again.

She asked who gave me the gift, and although I was getting really irritated by this point, I gave her a general idea of where it came from. Then she asked for my due date and I lost it. "Why do you need to know that?" I huffed.

"For our database."

"Is the information not on the gift receipt for you to give me the credit?"

"The information is here but I have to fill out our database too."Jud jumped in here and gave her a false due date and then she finally got out a card to put the credit on and finished the rest of the process. By the time we finally got the card, I did not want to look around for anything else, I just wanted out of that sauna and away from the idiocy that was behind the counter.

So yeah, that's why we didn't make it anywhere to register for anything. I was afraid we'd run into more of that level of humanity, and I just could not deal with that and a full bladder at the same time. So, we came home and watched playoff games instead. The end.

Thoughts from the Last Work Day of the Week

2007-01-12T13:37:00.000-06:00

My entire morning brightened up when a coworker announced she'd brought in bagels and cream cheese for everyone. She got hired for a bigger and better position and I thought that the bagels might be her farewell to our side of the building, but she said they weren't. Then I told her we would accept them as penance for the fact that she is no longer really doing her work. Penance tasted very good.

Another coworker brought me the first season of Lost to watch. Jud and I have been hoping to watch these. Ask and you shall....

Following a really horribly drawn out pain-staking audit process for one of the parts of my job, I have yet to see the final review document. The strange auditor guy who will eventually put this report together gave me back all of my back up documentation today. Now I have to re-file them. He noted that he'd assigned all new numbers to each of them (despite the fact that we already use a numeric system for reference and filing all of them). And really, that's probably what took all of that time...renumbering them into his own system. It's pretty complex. The first one he looked at is #1. The second one is #2. See? That would obviously take the better part of three months.

It is raining here and may be icy in the morning. People really loose their minds over the idea of the temperature dropping down here, which isn't entirely neurotic, given the fact that the roads were planned by a man who, when we saw him interviewed by the local news media Jud and I both concluded, has some sort of mental challenge.

It's casual day here in the office again and so far I've counted three people wearing sweatpants. Makes.me.shudder.

A very good friend of mine wrote me an email last night stating that she's found a new job and is leaving her current job situation (which involved her company routinely taking advantage of her and preying on her loyalty) for a new place with promise and hope.

So, even though it's raining, today has been nice and bright.

Your Help Needed

2007-01-09T17:30:00.000-06:00

So, now that we are about 99% sure that the BehBeh is a boy, we figure it's about time we go register for some stuff at places where they have things. Seeing as we've never purchased a lot of brightly colored plastic items before, we could use a little help (can you believe that I am asking for advice?!).

Please leave your helpful suggestions in the comments (or you can email them to us too, if you'd prefer, but it's so much better in the comments where it will help other people remember the stuff that they could not live without) with a little explanation. Also welcome are your suggestions of things to not buy (Amy already gave me a little pack-n-play advice).

So, let's get to it, moms and dads!

As Promised

2007-01-09T15:23:00.000-06:00

Here's the new pictures of the BehBeh at 22 weeks.

This is supposedly a picture of his feet. It's hard for me to make out too.

Here's a nice picture of his skull.

This one highlights his lovely rib cage.

Now can anyone tell me why I thought it would be a good idea to wear pants that have a button and a zipper today? Seriously the worst decision I've made in a while (which, all things considered, is actually some kind of victory given the fact that my mind has been fuzzy since these hormones let loose. I can't believe people are put in charge of tiny people when their minds are suddenly banana puree and their emotions are like melting butter. Hmm, bananas and butter, kind of reminds me of Fogo de Chao....see?! Squishy-weak-baby-hormone mind!). Anyway, these pants, while comfortable everywhere else, are squeezing my middle and it's making me really irritable. They will be replaced with something made of stretchy goodness in about an hour. I cannot wait.

Getting Bigger

2007-01-08T19:00:00.000-06:00

So, my stomach is starting to poke out way beyond anything that could be mistaken for a little extra holiday eggnog. You probably already believe me, but I'll post a picture soon.

I'm eating pretty well and I'm not preoccupied with certain kinds of food, but food in general is never far from my mind. I don't know that this is a new development because of the pregnancy (Things that have changed because of pregnancy included an incident earlier today, after Jud was taping me [on our new awesome video recorder] recounting a story my dad told me. He had me convinced that my voice has gotten deeper since August and I started kind of freaking out, and then he said he was just kidding, but now I don't know if I believe him or not), because I've always been sort of preoccupied with food.

Here's the list of things that I've eaten today:

Frosted MiniSpooners (Malto Meal rocks at ripoff cereals)
Orange Juice
Chicken Noodle Soup and Saltines
An Orange
Tuna Casserole
Jello Pudding
A handful of spicy nacho Doritos

Okay, so maybe that last one's not the world's best choice, but I think the baby needed something salty and spicy.

Speaking of the little guy, it turns out, he's not so little. Right now he's measuring a full week beyond where he's really at and weighs in a nice and full one pound four ounces. His brain looked good. His face looked just like a baby's should, eventhough he was doing his best to cover it up with his arms and hands (I'll scan in his new pictures tomorrow at work [though they aren't as clear as they could've been]). We went in for the ultrasound this afternoon and by the time it was over I was starving. About ten minutes after I was done eating, he started moving around really fast and being rambunctious. It was the first time eating has produced that result, but if he's anything like his dad, he's going to love dinner time.

One note of concern is that his supply of nourishment is only 2.5 centimeters from being too low. You can read about all of those fun words here.

I Wrote This On Friday

2007-01-08T18:20:00.000-06:00

Maybe We All Just Need a Moment to Quiet Down and Grieve

Sunday morning I woke up with a little tickle in my throat and I tried to ignore it. I tried to forget about it as I sat in the CBC foyer watching the snowfall and my husband, who had a very similar throat problem, rushed around salting the steps and driveway and convincing a guy who was sanding another parking lot to come do ours too. I attempted to push it from my mind as we went home and everyone ate leftovers and looked at the Sunday paper. I really did forget about it while we were on the interstate watching cars do 360s in the snow, but it was back in full force as I napped on the plane while we were de-iced.

Flying into DFW, I couldn't think about anything other than the fact that my bladder needed relief and became pretty fixated on finding the ladies room as we disembarked. While we went down the escalator I only thought about whether or not Tom and Sarah had been able to get to our new arrival gate and was relieved to see them smiling and waving downstairs. We all watched the ball drop an hour early and then in our own time zone too. Kisses at midnight made me forget.

Monday was game day and while a bowl game should've brought sheer pleasure, I just couldn't shake the feeling that the temperature was going to seriously affect my hot forehead and aching sinuses. I was right, but I pushed most of it out of my mind as we stood by and watched our beloved team beat themselves. Not a crushing defeat by any means, and it's not bad to loose to a team like Auburn (let's all remember that they beat Florida), even if we were the better team on the field.

I worried little about my head when Carlos Santana forgot that breaking should come before dialing numbers on his cell phone. I only thought about the baby and hoped that the little sack of water he's in had cushioned him from thinking anything more than, "Why won't this woman just chill out already?”

By the time Tom and Sarah were heading back north, I could no longer ignore any of it. We spent the day collapsed in exhaustion and illness in the living room sleepily watching the last bits of college football and hoping that a magical fairy would go to the store for us so that we wouldn't have to drag our sorry, sneezing selves there instead.

Tuesday meant work and an intensive class for Jud (nothing like jumping in with both feet when you feel sick), but at least the stock market was closed and he had a small reprieve. I made the drive up a little ways north to work and have been fairly busy all week, which helps me to focus less on all of my 'poor me' and more on things that need to just get done.

Last night, while checking my email again after four days (does anyone know what the deal is with gmail when it asks you to save a file in order to access your mail? It's done this in the past and I don't remember what I did to fix it) I discovered lots of bad news from friends. Our friends' baby boy is doing poorly and just had a feeding tube put in. Another friend lost their baby in utero somewhere around the twelve-week time and didn't find out until fifteen weeks. She had a D&C today. It's not hard to forget about yourself when you see others in pain. I just prayed for those two moms; for the suffering they are going through and tried to remember that these momentary afflictions are going to be replaced with glory beyond measure. And I thought how that would sound so hollow to me if I were sitting in a hospital room today, but that truth can be like that from time to time; cold and emotionless. It doesn't stop it from being the truth, though. It just doesn't always bring much comfort.

Currently Keeping Us Alive

2007-01-03T07:21:00.000-06:00

Halls Breezers - bags and bags

Ozarka Water - several liters worth

Orange Juice - for the vitamin C and all

The Blue Blanket - nothing is softer

Kleenex - it says 'bless you'

Soup - tomato and chicken noodle because we're fancy like that

Tylenol Cold Nighttime and Daytime - calm down, this one's for Jud only

Sleep - if only there was more

This is the New Year and I don't feel any different...

2007-01-01T18:30:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year everyone! Just thought I would post a picture from the Cotton Bowl today. It was sad to experience my first Nebraska loss in person but at least it was a good game. Both Kim and I are feeling pretty under the weather with colds likely contracted in Omaha. On top of the loss, our colds, and the cold weather we sat through at the game, I also was rear-ended by a guy named Carlos Santana (unfortunately not that Carlos Santana) on our way home from the game. While their was no visible damage to my car or any of us in it, I got his info anyway and he preceded to tell me how he wasn't paying attention because he was busy on his phone while smoking at the same time. Lets here it for multi-tasking. Anyway, we hit the ground running tomorrow as we both embrace the 2007 swing of things (school and work and work and more work). I hope all of you have had a great New Year.

December 25, 2006

2006-12-25T14:34:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas!
from Jud & Kim

But You Like Raisins

2006-12-20T12:28:00.000-06:00

I like Christmas time for lots of reasons but I have to admit that the movie factor is a big one. There are a few great holiday movies and some that I don't especially care for, but I'll give you my favorites here:

In no particular order, I give you

Kim's Holiday Movie Guide

Elf
If you haven't seen this (Jenn, did you guys see this yet?), this should be the year. I'm not a huge 'kid movie' fan, but this one was legitmately laughable.

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
This one was just on TBS the other night. I watched it alone, while Jud studied, which is good because I attempted to quote every other line and for some reason other people find that annoying.

The Family Stone
Technically, I haven't watched this one at Christmas yet and immediately after watching the movie I curled into a pitiful ball of tears and moaned, "I hate that movie" for about twenty minutes. Then, a day or two later, I found myself saying that I loved the movie. And I do. It's a little predictable and all that, but I liked how everything started out on the surface and not especially meaningful but moved there in the end. I think you'll like it too.

Dr. Seuss - How the Grinch Stole Christmas
Christmas Eve 1994 was the year that my family actually left the Christmas Eve service while it was still going on in order to watch this cartoon on the Armed Forces Network (unlike here in the States, it was only running once and if you miss it, you miss it for the year). Our favorite character is the dog, probably because he still reminds us of Pogo.

White Christmas
Yeah, it's a little cheesy, but there's something about that scene where they are wearing all of those beautiful Christmas costumes that makes me think about my childhood and feel warm inside.

Better Off Dead
Officially, it's not a Christmas movie, but they do celebrate Christmas and that's the important part. Have you seen this one? It's a very 80s teen movie, except it's unbelievably funny. And the scene with the reindeer costume is sort of priceless. That said, please do not ever purchase this for our child, or I might have to whip you up something that has raisins in it. 'You like raisins!'

The Weight of It All

2006-12-15T08:40:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I got all wigged out about a bunch of things that were overwhelming me. None of them are especially significant (the secret Santa gift for a coworker, the rest of the Christmas shopping, the dishes, a coworker asking me to drive them to the airport tomorrow after our Christmas lunch [as if I am the benevolent pregnant taxi driver who loves to drive all the way to Frisco for lunch and then drive back down to sort of near my home but in the wrong direction for a while instead of say a normal taxi driver who would charge this person (who, by the way, makes loads of cash) about forty dollars for this same trip], having said person in my car meant I needed a car wash and to clean the inside up a bit, inviting my neighbors over for dinner sometime before next Thursday to a soup themed supper (only now it has turned to 80 degrees outside and soup seems like a ridiculous choice), the fact that I am growing a human being inside of me who frequently makes my back, head and bowels ache). You know the things that seem very significant when you are so incredibly focused on yourself; the things that seem to get bigger and Bigger and BIGGER in your mind until there is no more space for anything else and you need to scream or throw things? That kind of overwhelmed.

Around 9 pm, while Jud was out trying to release the pressure valve in my head by making a trip out to try to wash my car (which, apparently, cannot be done in our neighborhood after dark as the car washes shut down for fear of the leprechauns, but seriously, World's Greatest Husband for the late night run to make my car pretty (in spite of the fact that it could not be done) and then getting up early today to actually wash the car. Who does that? Yes, the Greatest Husband in the World), he called me and told me that my parents had just called him to say that a friend's father had died.

He'd been slowly going for a while, but had a fall that hastened it. It's bittersweet, as so many times death is. You're glad for them, for the release of a body that had stopped cooperating and the acceptance of eternal life that has led him into an eternity of incredible joy. And still there are those here that will miss him. He was still living with his wife of so many years, independently in some ways and dependently in many others. I wondered about her night last night and if she'll want to keep clinging to independence the way my grandmother does, alone in a house, without the ability to drive herself anywhere, but unwilling to admit that the days of coping on her own are gone. I wondered about his daughter, her husband and his grandchildren and all of the memories they have of days gone by. Would the older days when things were much easier be blotted out by these last ones? Would they remember his great mind and his warm smile? Most of them will. Some may be too young. Not that long ago Jud checked out his thesis from the Sem's library. It was a good paper. Good rationality and good writing (I don't want to use hyperbole here. It was still a theological paper and for all its accuracy and clarity it wouldn't exactly make the bestseller list), it was a reminder of the mind that is now restored to him, all of the intelligence with the ability to express it. It's over now, but it's also just begun.

Perspective.

The Answer to Sarah's Question

2006-12-14T18:09:00.000-06:00

Well, blue I suppose.

Or maybe green.

Of course, there's always these colors....

(Special thanks to Luke & Kit for the Husker booties! They were our very first present for the baby and we've been admiring them quite a bit. Oh, and thanks for the letter too. While I'm at it, thanks to all of you who are sending out Christmas update letters and pictures of your beautiful families. Our fridge is loosing it's white spots again! Don't check your mailbox for a letter from us. Just read through the archives. It's all in there!)

And now for the completely random...
I found this odd little baby with fabric wings while cleaning out my closet the other day and it totally reminded me of the Kinder Ueberraschungen. Anybody feel me on that one?

Like 95% Sure

2006-12-13T13:47:00.000-06:00

Jud and I met up last night at the clinic where our friend who'd volunteered to do a free ultrasound was significantly backed up with other patients. So, we went to Chipotle where we consumed spicy meats in delicious wraps. Back to the clinic where we chatted with our friend's husband, who comes up for protection purposes on the night they are open late. When it was finally time to get a peek, we got a pretty good one.

Here are a few of the good shots:

Baby arm and hand

Baby legs and foot

The arrow is pointing to the goods. What do you see?

Kinkos Can Keep It

2006-12-12T14:18:00.000-06:00

I've been working on a special project. This should amaze you because I am not a craft person. I don't make things involving thread, stitching, hot glue, neatly punched corners of paper, stickers, pictures or anything else of that nature. It's just not in me. I don't really want it to be, mostly because all of those things cost, what I deem to be, foolish amounts of money.

What do I do? This is it. I blog. It's free. It's expressive. I can sort of be creative (maybe not right now, or in the last week, month, year or what-have-you. But, you know, if I wanted to be, I could). Yeah, so I write. And I have written something that I was going to share with most of you (some of you, I can't because I don't know you....like you, person in Herndon VA whom I'm guessing I have not met, but would maybe like to because you read here sometimes and I hope that means you like what I write. Hi! But I can't send you my project because I don't have your address). Then I ran into a ridiculous snag.

Last night, after eating my delicious baked potato with broccoli, onions, cheese and sour cream (I know!), Jud and I packed it up and drove off to Kinkos where I was misled by an employee in training and then scoffed at by a real employee who wanted to charge me $1.25 for each color copy. This man lives in a world where you can't change prices of things and instead of adjusting one's price to accommodate a customer who might go elsewhere and thus save the business for your own company, you just encourage them to go elsewhere by saying things like "oh, you can get these a lot cheaper somewhere else." Yes. Yes, I can. And now, obviously I will. Somewhere like my own house where a printer cartridge full of toner will print off enough of these (and then some) to make me happy and still leave plenty of money in my pocket.

The non-color copies looked really unprofessional. The toner was uneven and a little streaky. There were four machines near my machine that had "out of order" signs on them without a repairman in sight. I'd already been fighting the overwhelming urge to scream, but instead of staying and fighting, I just took flight. To WalMart, where Jud purchased a toner cartridge, some paper and hopefully, a little chunk of my sanity back.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me

2006-12-12T13:52:00.000-06:00

Last Friday I got off of work a little early (don't worry, coworkers who sometimes read, I worked late the night before...in a meeting with an auditor, so that time should probably count for more like time and a half, but rest assured, I didn't short the company. It's getting plenty of time out of my brain and soul) so that Jud and I could go visit the baby doctor who pokes at my stomach with strange jelly topped sticks. My blood pressure was a rockin 100/70 (eat that high blood pressure! Now please, pass the salt).

To date, I'd gained 12 pounds of baby juice and flesh (I found this number alarming at first. Twelve? As in a two with a one in front? That's a lot of weight!! Then I told Jud and he was all high fives with "Yeah!" and "Nice work" so I didn't feel quite as bad about it but it still seems like too much. This second trimester sure is packing the pounds on me). Everything else looked normal and fine too, so then the nurse took us into a room.

I'd been hoping that we'd get another ultrasound because I knew that the baby had grown enough for us to check out his/her goods and know what color to lean toward when making purchases for things like sheets and clothes and the like. When we got into our room, I knew it was not to be. The ultrasound machine was in the room next door and we were sitting in the room with the odd little chair that Jud doesn't like. I was pretty bummed out and for a second or two tried to convince our doctor that he should do one anyway, but he wasn't moved (guessing he's heard that song and dance before).

At church on Sunday some women were asking me about the appointment and I told them about it and how I was disappointed, but could wait four more weeks if I had to, when one of the women said "I'll do one for you. Come by my clinic on Tuesday evening and we'll take a look."

Joy beyond joy! We are finding out tonight! (Right after my company Christmas party...which is being held at a BAR. I'm just putting in my face (grabbing a few bar treats...you know, like WINGS or FRIED CHEESE or some other fried thing that I would not ordinarily purchase for myself, but since it's my company's holiday present to me, I might as well (can you say thirteen pounds? As in a one and then a three?). Anyway, I'm hoping not to smell too much like smoke when I walk into the clinic. The boozy smell? Of course. Babies love booze. But cigarettes? That's preposterous.)

The Horror of Buying and Choosing

2006-12-07T14:53:00.000-06:00

Last Saturday I went to this awesome brunch at Jenn's place. Her food totally rocked (and she refused help from everyone, so we all showed up empty stomached and empty handed and she filled us to the brim with delicious brunchy treats...plus some (or a ton) of toffee, which totally rocks my face off, every time. It's THAT good. It's better than any toffee I've ever received in a gift basket or eaten from the mall or any other person's house (if I've eaten toffee at your house and you are not Jenn, I am sorry. I am not trying to hurt your feelings. I do however, think you might want to try this new recipe my friend is going to give me.)) [HUGE DIGRESSION]. So, after all the food and the official polite talking, we inevitably talked about gifts and what we're buying and whom they are going to, the usual Christmas gift talk.

While we were talking, someone suggested what I thought was a great idea. I could use this idea for a few people. It would be easy! not too much money! fairly personal! and easy! (I thought it bore repeating). So, with much gusto, I asked Jud what he thought. As soon as I got the words out of my mouth and without even turning his face toward me, he said ‘no’. When I pestered him about his 'no', he made some really good points and I relented. Back to square one.

I was not feeling too upset about not knowing what to get people because I had one idea for one person and that thought seemed to comfort me. At least I knew what I was getting for _____. Then today I learned that she already has the thing I was going to purchase and now, I am literally back to square one. Not one solid idea.

I'd like to blame the baby for sapping my smarts and creativity and energy, but the truth is that I am just not good at gift giving. I probably never will be and there's no reason to start thinking things will change now.

While lamenting this problem to Ronke at lunch, she suggested I go here and run some different personality gift giving ideas. So far, I've come up with one gift for one person. That's some progress. If you're stuck, you might want to check it out. Although, be warned, the gift ideas are not necessarily on target. You should take what they give you and use it as a jumping off point. But at least, you'll have somewhere to jump from now, some idea of the height from which you stand, some level of the gravity of this endeavor, some importance to lend to the life of another person for whom you care. Maybe that's a little over the top. Maybe I should just chill out and go to the mall. Maybe I will choose to sleep instead.

Things Polite People Wouldn't Talk About

2006-12-07T13:39:00.000-06:00

So, I know you were not wondering, but so far today (and it is only 1:44 pm) I have been to the bathroom nine times. Nine. I think that is at least 4 times too many. I've had a liter of water, 8 oz of cranberry juice and 6 oz of tea. That's pretty much the normal amount of liquids for me, but it is a lot more urinating than I'm used to. Either the baby is pretending that my bladder is a trampoline or maybe the dreaded abbreviation is back (let's hope it's just the former).

Continuing with the toilet talk, I thought I'd tell you a story about keeping your bathroom from being stinky after you've done something other than urinate. You know what to do, right? You light a match.

I remember talking to a friend who was just about to get married and she had never heard of such a thing. Then she tried it. Turns out that matches really do cover up that stench. Unfortunately, you probably shouldn't attempt to cover up similar smells in the same manner whilst on an aeroplane. You know how people are about fire on those things.

[Thanks to alert reader Rick for this one!]

Hypothetically Speaking, of course

2006-12-06T13:05:00.000-06:00

Let's say you and I made a deal. We made an outline of the deal and put it down on paper and possibly had some other people look at it and agree that this was a good deal and that both sides of the deal would benefit from it and all of that. Then, let's say we both signed the deal and made it all official like.

Later let's say someone in my family was all "I totally object to this part of the deal!" and maybe "This was a bad deal when you made it so I don't think I need to honor it."

What do you suppose the law might say about something like that? What do you suppose I might say about that? I think you are right.

I also think it is time for my side of the family to honor the deal because...

A) You know, that whole legalality of it all thing.
B) I am starting to feel like a total idiot for having to ask you for more and more things to prove that your thing is valid.
C) That family member of mine is really just power tripping and there's not one thing I can do about it (on this side of the law, I mean).
D) I cannot keep talking about this thing that happened in 2005 when it is almost 2007. It's making my brain hurt too much.

Or then again, maybe we could all just keep beating this bloated, rotting horse carcass instead of thinking of ways to make next year's deal more clear and precise. I can see how that might appear to be more fun. I can also see why retention is not as high as it could be. And maybe I could see how nobody doing anything to solve the problem is not really a problem for anybody except me and the other party who agreed to the deal and just a few other people in my family, none of whom have the power to make everyone put down their beating sticks and sit down to work on the future.

I'd speculate a little bit more with you, except that I can see a spot on the horse's leg that hasn't yet been beaten. I better hurry.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Wow, I even got phone calls about this cryptic, ridiculous post. It is not about family. It is not about you. It is about some junkity junk junk at work that was really scheeving me out yesterday. It was written through blind anger and possibly baby hormones. You should probably just back away slowly.

Thwarted

2006-12-04T13:22:00.000-06:00

Jud and I went out on a date Friday night.

I was in the mood for Chinese. Not just any Chinese, Pei Wei Chinese. And not just anything from there. I wanted the crab wontons. I wanted the plum sauce to dip them in. I wanted them hot and sweet and savory. [You should know that these aren't your normal crab rangoon. They have REAL crab and the wrapper is delicate and delicious.] I'd been wanting some all day.

On the way to the restaurant, I decided to prepare Jud that I was about to order an appetizer and an entree, just so that there was no confusion.

"Okay, just so you know, I'm going to order..."

"I know. You want the lettuce wraps."

"No. I was going to say that I am going to order the crab wontons."

"No you're not."

"What?! Yes, I am. Why can't I?"

"Because pregnant women can't have shellfish."

Then I made the sound of a thousand dying yaks and two tortured goats.

Cotton Bowl

2006-12-03T19:57:00.000-06:00

If any of you are planning to make it to the Cotton Bowl we have room at our place for a couple more people. Kim and I already have our tickets and we're going with Tom and Sarah so...if you're interested in coming down to Dallas, we might be able to save you a little money on a hotel room for New Years Eve and/or Day. Just shoot us an email or give us a call.

Normally we probably wouldn't want to spend the money on bowl tickets but it doesn't really get any cheaper for us being that we live less than 10 minutes from the Stadium.

Picking Pecks of Pickled Peppers a Bad Habit?
	Definitely!
	Absurd but Acceptable with regard to a Board Game
	Ludicrous. Absolutely Not.

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